Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Week of Music: What I'd Give

Today's entry is Sugarland's "What I'd Give." This song brings to mind love #2.

Circumstances made "finding out how you like your eggs," and "waking up to your face above me" out of our reach. Oh but what I'd give to have been able to make them a reality. The memory of him still sometimes hits me right in the gut, and a little south of the gut too!!

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Week Of Music: Quiche Lorraine

Our second music entry for this week's week of music is the B-52's Quiche Lorraine. This song takes me back to my college days having attended the University of Georgia in Athens from which the quirky B-52's hail.

In particular, this song reminds me of my first love. We met in the first year of high school, and continued our friendship through most of college. At the time, I was not wise enough to the ways of love and sex to understand the red flags that should have been raised by a male friend with whom I was nearly inseparable, yet not at all sexual. I fell deeply in love with him over the 7 years we spent together. In time, he finally revealed to me that he was gay. It tore us apart for a long while. I couldn't accept it, nor could I accept that I would never be the one for him.

This song reminds me of our happier party days together in college and always makes me smile.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Week of Music: Right Here

Today's song by Staind "Right Here " calls to mind love #2. Ours was a very much on again off again relationship...more than it's fair share of turmoil, yet we never could seem to walk away for good...something always kept drawing us back to each other.

The Week of Music: Never Tear Us Apart

I had a nifty idea last week, and I am going to try it out on you, dear reader. I am going to make a post each day this week, featuring a song that has some sort of intimate meaning to me. I may tell you to whom it refers , I may not, that remains to be seen. You can be assured that since each song has an intimate meaning to me it likely refers to one of the three loves I referred to in this earlier post. As with any new idea, you may enjoy it or you may count the days until the week is over. If the latter is the case, I apoligize in advance.

My first song of the week is INXS' "Never Tear Us Apart." My Jay wanted to have this as our first dance song at our wedding. At the time, I overruled with another song, that in hindsight was much less suitable than this one. This song always brings tender thoughts of my Jay whenever I hear it. It is a bit bittersweet now that Michael Hutchence has been gone so long, but still a beautiful love song.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


She knelt between his legs, the carpeting rough on her knees, her dress tossed to the floor beside her where he had carelessly tossed it shortly after they entered the hotel room. His lips had hungrily sought hers as he took her breasts in each hand, drawing a small moan from her. She had greedily pulled his shirt over his head, desperate for the sensation of his skin against hers.

Theirs had been such a long, uncertain wait culminating in this angry, animal desire to devour each other. Now she knelt in front of him, feeling the taut muscles of his thighs under her hands as she gazed up at him. She kissed the bare skin of his belly, tracing circles around his navel with her tongue until he placed his hand on the top of her head and shoved her down, knocking her off balance, her head grazing the wall as she fell.

He advanced towards her as she righted herself against the wall, his green eyes shining with lust and unfulfilled desire. He slapped her in the face with his cock…once…twice…three times before he guided it into her waiting mouth.

She took him balls deep as he groaned his pleasure into the silence of the room. Her warm, tight mouth sucked up and down the length of his shaft, pausing at the head to swirl her tongue around the salty precum gathering there.

Her own sex pulsed and gushed between her legs as she pleasured him. Her need to have him inside her was strong, however her desire to please him was overwhelmingly stronger.

She cupped his tight balls as she stroked his wet rigid cock. He pumped his hips at her, tossing her back against the wall, her head bouncing off the hard surface with each thrust as she gagged on his swollen cock. She gripped his ass feeling the muscles there tighten as his hot, delicious cum began to flow into her mouth. She swallowed eagerly, loving the taste of him as he released into her mouth. When he was still, she gently cleaned him with her tongue, wanting to lap up every precious drop of fluid. She looked up at him as she did this their eyes locked with a mixture of desire and need.

He gripped her under the arms and lifted her to his waiting mouth, tongues swirling together as he led her to the empty bed. The weight of his body on hers increased her arousal to a nearly unbearable level. She wanted this so badly. She had been such a good, patient girl, and here was her just reward.

She could no longer control her own body, could no longer stem the rising tide of desire. She came almost as soon as he entered her, her cunt clamping down on him with such force it took her breath away. She writhed and cried out underneath him as her orgasm ripped through her. When it was over, she clung to him, her legs wrapped tightly around his hips, trembling as her whole body tingled and throbbed with their deed.

When she finally stilled, he rolled off of her, planted a kiss on her cheek, and chuckled, “Let’s do that all over again in about 20 minutes!”

Sunday, August 22, 2010

My Dearest Katy

One night last week my son was showing his Dad a video on the laptop in the kitchen as they were cleaning up after dinner as he does from time to time. Usually it is something completely juvenile, and uninteresting, but this time it turned out to be my Katy's latest video.

I tried to act nonchalant as I glanced over their shoulders, secretly filled with lust.

Later, I looked the video up for myself, and have watched it several times since.

My Katy is a smokin' hot goddess!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Freaks of Atlanta Rejoice!!

If you are a reader here in the Atlanta area and you have been involved in the BDSM scene on some level or another be that mild interest or full on D/s relationship for 10 years or longer you probably remember a wonderful little place that used to be on Cheshire Bridge Road called The Chamber.

Whenever Jay and I had the opportunity to go out for an evening of fun, that was always our destination of choice. Sadly, Mon Cherie, who founded the debaucherous place, fell out of the scene after having a child, and the Chamber was no more. My best recollection is that this was about 8 or 9 years ago. Since then Jay and I have struggled to find any club that possessed the same atmosphere of kink, industrial dance beats, BDSM themed performances, and an atmosphere of welcome to any and all sexual orientations.

What to my wondering eyes did appear in my FetLife message box last week but an invite from Mon Cherie herself to the 2nd Annual Club Fetish Reunion!! I nearly squealed with delight when I read it. Jay and I were giddy as school children this week leading up to the event.

It was held at The Heretic also on Cheshire Bridge Road. Those of you from Atlanta may be scratching your heads saying WTF?! The Heretic is a long standing gay bar known for not being at all welcoming to those of the female gender. My first reaction when I learned the venue was NO WAY!! But the more Jay and I read about the event, we knew it was exactly what we had been waiting for.

Here's the best part boys and girls...Jay and I ran into Ms. Mon Cherie at the event early in the evening and she explained to us that she is looking to bring The Chamber back...oh happy day for all the freaks and kinksters in the ATL! Her hope is to do an event one Saturday a month at the Heretic and hopefully see it grow from there.

It was a great night full of erotic, deviant shows, pounding industrial dance beats to which Jay and I danced the night away, and beautiful subbie and dominant eye candy for all to enjoy. It was a wonderful mixture of all sexual orientations...hetero, gay, lesbian, and everything in between. I have to say that a point of great amusement to me was how the bartenders were Johnny-on-the-Spot to light Jay's cigarette (it's a gay bar remember?) while barely noticing my existance...LOL. And no, we are not smokers...ex smokers who indulge in a pack when we go out and then either chuck it at the end of the night or save it for the next time we have the opportunity to go out.

And now for the best part, the night in pictures for you...

Jay and I had the pleasure of dancing near to this hottie's little stage for much of the evening. I so wanted to reach out and slap her firm little ass.

This beautiful lady was quite skilled with her glow in the dark hoolahoop

This was a naughty little ballerine princess in need of a love gift of slut shoes...

These two hotties left me hot and bothered, and wanting more after their performance. I managed to kneel on one of the dance stages in order to get an unobstructed view of the naughty little subbie taking her punishment. Can you see how big her breats are...holy shit, Batman! I had thought my interest in women had kind of cooled over the last several years, but this beauty had me aching to bury my face between those beautiful pair of breats

And finally, unbeknownst to me, Jay was apparently snapping pictures up my dress as I kneeled on the dance stange transfixed my the scenes depicted above

If there are those who are interested, I will keep you up to date on future events.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Is It Wrong To Have Dirty Thoughts About Your Child's Teacher?

Both of my children went back to school this week. My son began 11th grade and my little one went into 1st Grade. I took my daughter to meet her teacher last Thursday before school began, and was speechless at what I saw. My daughter's teacher is HOT!!

I tried not to stare at her long tan legs leading down to pretty polished toes inside sparkly sandals. I pretended I didn't notice the shape of her body underneath her purple dress which clung to her perfectly. I was practically drooling by the time I left her classroom.

Jay and I both accompanied our daughter to school on the first day. He too was in the same state of drooling shock when we left the classroom. I fear the little 1st grade boys in her class will learn next to nothing this year...LOL.

I can't wait for our first parent/teacher conference!

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Importance of "Forward" vs"Reply" When Emailing

Or perhaps a more appropriate title would be..."how confusing the two created one of the most embarrasing moments in my life."

Our kitchen faucet has a leak. Jay spent the better part of Saturday trying in vain to fix it until he finally had to admit defeat. Thus this afternoon found me sending out an email at my small company of about 40 employees asking if anyone knew of a good handyman they could recommend.

I received numerous responses which I dutifully forwarded to Jay so that he could sift through them and contact someone for us. One of these emails came from the co-worker you may recall referenced here in the very first paragraph of this post.

The email said something along the lines of, "How much does it pay?" in a joking manner and went on to tell me of a former employee that apparently knows something about plumbing.

Jay and I being us, he is fully aware that I find this particular co-worker incredibly hot, and we joke about it from time to time. So I forwarded the hot co-worker's email to Jay stating, "Here's another one. I won't tell you what I WANTED to type in response to this email...LOL." I of course had visions of said co-woker shirtless and sweaty underneath my kitchen sink, and repaying him with certain "special" favors.

I think you can see where this is going, can't you? Two seconds after I hit send, I realized I had hit the fucking REPLY button and not the FORWARD button. I sent this reply back TO the hot co-worker and not my husband.

Sure enough, about a minute later I get a response from him along the lines of, "Huh, did you send this to the wrong person? LOL"

What is a girl to do in this situation? I had to send a reply. I couldn't just leave it at that, could I? By this time I wanted to crawl under my desk and dig a hole to China!

I finally just came clean and replied, "Yes, I did let's just leave it at that, shall we? How are you feeling this week?"

He has been quite ill for the past couple of weeks so I deftly shifted the subject. See how clever and non-obvious I am after I have made a complete ass of myself?

He replied back in short order," LOL, ok we'll leave it at that." Then goes on to tell me he is starting to feel better, etc, etc.

My face was burning all afternoon. The hot co-worker is in sales and mercifully was not in the office this afternoon so I did not actually have to face him. However, I have no doubt I will see him tomorrow. He stops by my office nearly every morning to say hello, discuss our mutual interest in jogging, etc.

Argh, I think I may be sick tomorrow....."grin"

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Keep You

I have recently discovered the wonders of Facebook, and gotten back in touch with some old friends some of whom date as far back as my childhood. So my mind has been in the past just a bit lately, such that when this song came up on my CD player on the way home from work one day recently, it struck a deep chord as I was flooded with memories of endings. I have been in love exactly 3 times in my 40 years of life, and 2 of the 3 times have ended with loss.

That got me pondering two things that seem to go hand in hand…love and loss. How many times have you, dear reader, genuinely been in love? Is 3 a lot, about average, a little? I wonder what the average is for most people across a lifetime? At 40 and happily married, I hazard to guess 3 will be my final number.

What is it that determines who we fall in love with? Why do we fall in love with this person we come in contact with, but not that person who is equally suitable? Is it proximity, chemistry, common interests, pheromones, fate, or something else? I don’t have the answers to these questions. I’m just wondering. I know that the one that stuck for me is the one that incorporated ALL the things I just mentioned.

Then there is the phenomenon of loss. I think everyone reading this post can identify with the feelings portrayed in the Sugarland song, “Keep You.” Don’t we all know what it feels like to be so stuck in grief the whole world is grey? Can’t we all remember a time when the loss of someone important to us was so profound that we could feel almost nothing at all, could neither laugh nor cry? In the end, in my 2 out of 3 love losses, there was absolutely nothing I could do to “keep you from doing this to me.”

The amazing thing is that we all seem to have this built in mechanism to recover. We survive what seems unsurvivable and unbearable at the time… the loss of a beloved relationship, divorce, children growing up, moving out and building their own lives, the death of parents. Some of us take longer to do it than others, but ultimately we get on with life. I tend to be one of those who takes her time getting over loss, milking every ounce of misery from it, until I finally decide I have had enough of pain and decide to let go.

I think the answer to why we all have the ability to do this is simple…survival. The alternative is to allow the wound to eventually rob us of the very will to live. We have to allow ourselves to heal and get on with life if we want to continue living at all. I saw my grandfather lose his will to live, and pass away just 6 short weeks after the death of my grandmother. I think at some point in our later years, we just don’t have the strength to recover any longer, the pay off is no longer worth the tremendous effort required.

I have found however, that even though my wound is well healed with a tough layer of scar tissue protecting it, there is still a hole left in my heart by the space that person used to fill. This is true of romantic relationships as well as dear friends that have wandered out of my life for one reason or another. Some leave a bigger hole than others, but all it takes is a small reminder of them, and I am caught up in that old familiar longing and fingering the hole in my chest. Although the pain mercifully fades with time, the love from which it sprang never does.

These are the thoughts rolling around in my head, and my heart today.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Romantic/Naughty Anniversary Celebration

Jay and I went out last night to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We exchanged gifts before going out to dinner. Since the theme of the evening was reliving our first date, I had procured for Jay a newspaper of the very same date of our first date in 1998. I received something much more spectacular than that from him. I received beautiful emerald earrings which are my favorite stone in addition to a pair of sexy, sassy panties from Victoria’s Secret as well as roses delivered to work last week on our actual anniversary. Jay felt the 10th was sort of a milestone, and wanted to make it special.

We started out our evening at the same restaurant where we had our very first date. Actually, the very same location had closed so we had to go to another location, not quite exactly the same, but close enough. After we made a pact to stop discussing our frustrations with our son (he is 16 years old and has problems with being responsible, and seemingly can retain none of the instructions he is given past a 5 minute window of time…ah the mysterious workings of the male teenage brain…ha, ha!), we had a very nice romantic meal.

Jay managed to snap this picture underneath the dinner table of my new panties...

And another as we were getting into the car...

From there we headed to the very same bookstore to which Jay took me after our first meal together. I knew I was in love when he took me to the bookstore on our first date…to find someone who enjoyed books and reading as much as I did was incredibly romantic to me. Not only did he enjoy books, he enjoyed many of the same books I did….most notably the Anne Rice vampire series. Our first date involved Jay standing behind me as I perused the bookshelves, kissing the back of my neck, and running his hand under my dress while I tried to pretend it wasn’t turning me on and making me incredibly wet.

The re-enactment date went a bit further than that. I was feeling especially adventurous last night. Jay checked the men’s room and signaled me when the coast was clear. I scurried inside and locked us into the largest stall. From there I proceeded to squat down, unzip Jay and take his cock in my mouth. Before long I had my dress and bra off leaving me in only my new white panties while sucking Jay’s cock. He forced me to my knees on the dirty bathroom floor and snapped this photo of me facing the filthy toilet...

I then continued to lick and suck his cock while still on my knees on the filthy bathroom floor, reveling in being Daddy's whore...

We were interrupted several times by restroom patrons at which time I froze, trying to hide the evidence of my obviously female feet behind a small portion of the stall. At one point, there was a man in the stall right next to us, and Jay had me stand up and bend over so he could finger me while this guy went about his business right next to us.

Eventually after 20 minutes or so of fun, we decided we should probably get out of there. Jay walked out of the stall first, while I remained locked in, and of course two men walked in at about the same damn time!! Jay took his time washing and drying his hands, but eventually had to leave the restroom. I was trapped there alone in the restroom while these two men went about their business. I have to admit there was something perversely exciting about being in the men’s room covertly listening to them take a pee while they were completely unaware. There was even a set of feet in the stall next to me that were large, clad in flip flops that I imagined might belong to someone tall and attractive. The two men did eventually leave as I peeped out through a crack in the stall door, waiting for Jay to signal me. When he did I scurried out as fast as possible, but not fast enough to prevent me exiting the men’s room at the same time a woman was exiting the ladies room! I was mortified, but at that point, really what the hell can you do? I glanced at her, smiled just slightly, and hurried away.

And that, dear reader, was how Jay and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.