tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58890685874925860572024-03-12T21:53:17.681-04:00Memoirs of a MILFThe dark desires of a MILF trapped in suburbia...Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.comBlogger211125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-83329062050105218822012-04-24T16:31:00.002-04:002012-04-24T16:36:32.956-04:00Licking the Computer ScreenHas anyone discovered this photo of Debra Messing in Allure magazine yet. I have had a "thing" for her for many years. Ever since "Will and Grace" which is arguably one of the funniest shows of all time!!
My first reaction was a whispered "Oh my God." Then I had this overwhelming desire to lick the screen from her toes to her head. She has appeared in my sexual fantasies many times. Such a HOT, sexy woman!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XYHOyqqqoB0/T5cOB0BvWPI/AAAAAAAAAcQ/GqGyjbahxPk/s1600/debra-messing-allure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="214" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XYHOyqqqoB0/T5cOB0BvWPI/AAAAAAAAAcQ/GqGyjbahxPk/s320/debra-messing-allure.jpg" /></a></div>Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-2829176797486237772012-03-26T18:37:00.003-04:002012-03-26T19:08:01.426-04:00A Droplet Of NectarAfter just 3 days of hand pumping and elecric pumping, a drop of milk. My body always was good at making milk. I can't wait until I can produce enough to stimulate the let down reflex...<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SKx2kKpSmkA/T3Dv_d8cF2I/AAAAAAAAAb4/iA6pd8n7s5Q/s1600/Photo03261447.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SKx2kKpSmkA/T3Dv_d8cF2I/AAAAAAAAAb4/iA6pd8n7s5Q/s320/Photo03261447.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5724339000036824930" /></a>Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-56973874168921700042012-03-25T19:49:00.003-04:002012-03-25T20:12:41.556-04:00The PumpMy breast pump arrived on Saturday!!! I was giddy with anticipation until I had the opportunity to use it later that afternoon. It was quite an experience.<br /><br />I pressed the cone shaped cup to my breast, turned on the pump and felt the familiar tug at my nipple that I recalled from some 9 years ago. Colostrum almost immediately began to trickle out of my nipple. I take that as a good sign that I might eventually have some success with convincing my body to lactate again. Jay also found a tea it is recommended that I drink.<br /><br />I relaxed and enjoyed the sucking and tugging at my nipple by the pump as Jay lay on the bed with me and watched. After 15 minutes I switched to the other breast, my first breast leaking little droplets of colostrum from the nipple. <br /><br />As the pump began its tugging at my second breast, Jay handed me my egg and suggested I pleasure myself as the pump did its work. I closed my eyes, the pump sucking at my nipple, the egg vibrating against my clit and imagined Jay and my Hot Englishman each lying alongside me, eagerly sucking milk that was flowing freely from my breasts. I imagined feeling each of their hard cocks pressed against my thighs. I imagined my breasts shooting out streams of milk as they each stroked their cocks over me until their ribbons of cum entwined with the milk pouring from my breasts. Turned on beyond restriant, I felt my cunt begin to spasm as orgasm washed over me in wave after wave. I panted and groaned as the spasms subsided and the pump continued to suck at my tit.<br /><br />I had the insane idea implanted in my head the other day of experiencing an orgasm at the same time as milk letdown. It seems like more pleasure than I could endure at once, but I am more than eager to give it a try.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-53103912603884093252012-03-22T08:24:00.003-04:002012-03-22T08:47:44.688-04:00SucklingJay and I had quite the erotic time last night. We began with some light kissing and stroking before he moved down to my breasts just begging for attention. He took my breast into his mouth and began to suck as I had a sharp intake of breath and arched my back towards him. He sucked steadily for a good 10 minutes as I planted small kisses along his forehead murmumering my love for him. Pleasure coursed through my whole body as his mouth remained glued to my nipple. <br /><br />He came up for air and moved to the other breast. The first breast was leaking tiny drops of colostrum as he tweaked and twisted it while fiercly suckling the 2nd breast. The pleasure was nearly unbearable. It raced along my body as my cunt flowed freely and seemed to develop a pulse of it's own. I used my foot to gently stroke his rock hard cock as he continued to suckle.<br /><br />When he had suckled a good 20 minutes, he bade me to his pulsing cock. I leaned over and sucked his cock balls deep into my mouth. My hand cradled and massaged his balls as my mouth worked up and down his cock, tongue in motion up and down the shaft and around the head.<br /><br />When he could stand it no longer, he shoved me to my back, poured oil all over my breasts, and shoved his cock between them as I held them tightly together for him. Watching his cock pump in and out between my breasts was a thing of beauty. Even more sublime was looking up at him, watching the pleasure on his face, and the powerful feeling of being towered over. He stradled me as he fucked my breasts, effectively pinning me to the bed. His thrusts became more urgent as he neared his release. He braced himself on the headboard of the bed, and powerfully thrust between my slick breasts. I began to moan, urging him on, wanting his cum all over me. When he let it go, it shot out all over my face, some straight into my mouth, all over my tits. I moaned as I licked droplets from my face, a large glob slowly rolling down from my tits to my belly.<br /><br />My but we are having such fun with my breasts lately. My pump is due to arrive on Saturday. I am all atwitter with excitement!!!Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-36461250390450494392012-03-20T14:11:00.005-04:002012-03-20T20:47:16.086-04:00My Secret FetishI have secretly harbored a slightly unusual fetish for some time which I was hesitant to even share with Jay for a while. My secret fetish is a lactation fetish. Let me explain before you decide I am a complete freak!!<br /><br />I nursed our daughter when she was an infant which was not a sexual thing at all. It was a wonderfully close, loving, bonding experience that I wish every woman could enjoy. There is however a certain sort of physical pleasure that goes along with all the hormones and what is happening in your body as you lactate. Just before one’s milk lets down there is a rush of relaxation and pleasure that courses through your entire body just for a few seconds that I imagine is a lesser version of what it might feel like to take a hit of heroin. A few seconds after that your breasts and nipples begin to tingle strongly as your milk lets down into the milk ducts and begins to flow. Any woman who has ever breast fed her child and tells you she never experienced this is lying because she is ashamed to admit it. Its biology…it’s how our bodies work, but it can also be disturbing because it involves your child so you just push it all to the back of your mind and enjoy the bonding feelings you experience with your new baby. The entire process is controlled largely by the hormone oxytocin which also just happens to be dubbed the “love hormone.” It’s what helps us feel that love and maternal bond as we nurse our newborn child, and part of the way it does this is by bringing us intense feelings of relaxation and yes, even pleasure.<br /><br />Of course once my daughter outgrew the need to breastfeed I just assumed that phase of my life was over and that was that. However, certain medications I have taken have strangely intermittently caused that exact same “AHHHHH” feeling of pleasure and relaxation followed by the tingling in my breasts of the let down reflex although with no actual milk since my body was not actually lactating. This got me thinking about those feelings again, and the more I thought about them, the more I wanted to experience them again<br /><br />I eventually shared this with Jay who was hesitant at first as it is a bit odd. However, the more we talked and fantasized about it over the years, the more turned on we each became. We fantasize about him suckling me, milk squirting into his mouth and running down his chin, we fantasize about milk shooting out of my tits as he fucks me. I see it mostly as pleasure and bonding between Jay and I,an avenue that could bring us even closer together;however, it can also very nicely fit into our D/s interests. One of my favorite fantasies of all is being milked like a cow. Tied up, forcefully milked as I moan in pleasure. In the D/s world this is known as “forced lactation” and is generally seen as a means of humiliation. I have always been the type of submissive turned on by certain types of humiliation. Don’t call me a fat ass or a worthless slut unless you want me to emotionally crumple in front of you, but DO lead me around by leash and collar on all fours, have me drink from a doggie bowl, lick the toilet OR be forcefully milked if you want me to be a dripping wet submissive worshipping at your feet.<br /><br />Today I actually did something about this fantasy. I bought a breast pump!!! I have no idea what happened to the one I used to have when I was nursing so I found a great deal for a small electric breast pump. I feel quite confident that with sufficient pumping 4 or 5 times a day I can lactate again. My body was very good at it before. The hardest part will be the scheduling in of time for such an endeavor, but I am determined to do it.<br /><br />For the rewards are great…<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0-H9oCyWj3A/T2kk44dvWiI/AAAAAAAAAbs/zwehoGW3dA0/s1600/29-squirting-tits.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0-H9oCyWj3A/T2kk44dvWiI/AAAAAAAAAbs/zwehoGW3dA0/s320/29-squirting-tits.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5722145361199323682" /></a>Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-27431171042512931632012-03-13T21:41:00.003-04:002012-03-13T21:46:27.338-04:00Thought for TodayThe message on my flip calendar for today:<br /><br />"The process of personal growth isn't always easy. We must face our own ugliness. We ofen must become painfully aware of the unworkability of a pattern before we're willing to give it up. It often seems, in fact, that our lives get worse rather than better when we begin to work deeply on ourselves."<br /><br />Gives me comfort that this experience has been traversed by others before me. I finally feel myself hitting my knees and declaring, "I am ready to begin now" rather than just playing at it and the idea that change would be good for me but just not right now due to excuse A.B or C.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-58477346709382533012012-03-01T23:00:00.003-05:002012-03-02T00:33:08.374-05:00Oh What a Lovely Evening We HadJay and I had such an erotic, arousing night this evening. Raise your hand if you remember my <a href="http://milfmemoirs.blogspot.com/2010/01/return-of-self-pleasure.html">Hot Englishman</a>! We have been back in touch over the past 2 or 3 months. Jay and I have communicated quite a bit on the subject of what we each want in our "adventurous" sex play. I am now ok with and even excited about being shared. There are very strict parameters set up that I won't bore you with.<br /><br />We first met the Hot Englishment about 3 years ago. He flew to Atlanta on business a number of times and I was still very uncertain about what I wanted so I regretfully turned this very wonderful man down more than once. He is hoping to come to Atlanta again fairly soon, and this time I won't be turning him down.<br /><br />We had a rather hot cam session tonight, although technical difficulties did make it less than perfect. Being in the UK and having to compensate for the time difference this sweet or more accurately put horny man actually set an alarm to wake him to meet us at the agreed upon time. How he managed to actually get up from a dead sleep I have no idea...LOL. <br /><br />Have I mentioned that this man is highly attractive, even more so butt ass naked with his hard cock in his hand. Tonight was the first time we actually spoke with each other. His accent makes me want to melt like butter.<br /><br />Jay had to leave the room for a few minutes which left Mr. Englishman and I to carry on alone. And carry on we did. I spread my wet pussy for him and inserted one of my favorite dildos while fucking myself vigourously. He stood stroking his cock for me, and I so wanted to lick his chest and abdomen as my eyes feasted on him.<br /><br />He brought his cock closer to the camera for me as I grew wetter and wetter, fingering my now hard little clit. He told me how he wanted to have me suck his balls and shove my tongue inside his ass. He wanted to lick my clit as Jay fucked me. I told him how I wanted him to fuck me after Jeff had cum inside me. I panted out that then I wanted him to cum in me, and get between my legs and lick all the cum out of me. At this point, I lost all control. "I'm going to cum Mr. Englishman, I'm going to cum" I managed to get out as I came hard on my fingers.<br /><br />Jay returned soon after this. We all joked about the fact that I was such a slut I had already cum while he was gone. I sucked Jay's cock while Hot Englishman watched trying to demonstrate what I wanted to do for him. Licking his balls, taking his cock to the back of my throat, gagging on it, gently sucking and licking the head.<br /><br />Jay placed himself between my legs and began to lick my still sensitive clit as my eyes continued to feast on the Hot Englisman's body. I was soon writhing in pleasure. Daddy looked up at me and said "Don't you cum" I mewed my displeasure but held myself back. A few more mimutes of licking and I was on the edge again. "Daddy, please can I come?" "Ask Hot Englishman if you can come." Dammit he wouldn't let me come either!! "Five more seconds" He must have repeated that for a full damn minute until I was finally allowed to explode again.<br /><br />Jay then had me on my back and inserted his cock in me as I watched Hot Englishman's cock grow even larger as he stroked faster and faster. My hips pumped at Jay as Mr. Englishman pumped his cock into his hand. I grunted out how much I wanted his cock in my mouth right now. He asked if I could get two cocks in my mouth at once. I innocently replied "I don't know, I've never tried it." The thought of it however made me even wetter.<br /><br />Mr. Englishman urged us on, telling Jay to come in me because he wanted to see it dripping out of my cunt. Jay pumped hard and deep until he exploded inside me.<br /><br />I spread my pussy for my Hot Englishman to give him a view of my wet cum oozing cunt as he stroked harder and harder. I watched intently. There is NOTHING I love more than to watch a man stroke his cock for me and cum all over his hand. Given of course it is a man I know and like and not just some random strange weirdo wanting a chick to watch him get off. My Hot Englishman did not disappoint. When he was done I had this burning desire to lick his cum covered hand clean.<br /><br />I very much look forward to further adventures with this man.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-68764734557220439232011-12-15T08:05:00.002-05:002011-12-15T08:25:05.403-05:00LullabyI treated myself to the new Nickelback album this weekend, and was not disappointed as I was with their last album. This one is fantastic. This song, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzrzB8i-a2c">Lullaby</a>, in particular has special meaning for me. It takes me back to my teenage years when I was in this sort of space. Depression and I are old friends unfortunately. Fortunately, those dark thoughts did not return with the latest several years wrangle with the big D. I think probably because I have a family now and could never do such a thing to my children, although I must be honest in saying they did indeed begin to creep back in the 2 or 3 weeks I was waiting for this most recent medication change to kick in and begin to work. It's exhausting feeling like death warmed over every day and trying to function in all your expected roles. Medications that work wondefully, and then for no reason at all just stop working makes one feel tired and hopeless. I had begun to reach a point where I was losing hope I would ever get out of this hole, and just wanted to rest. Fortunately the medication did kick in, and I found a great new therapist and those dark thoughts subsided. However,this song Lullaby speaks to me deeply as it describes certain periods of my life.<br /><br />My experiences make me think perhaps I should find an organization that can allow me to help others in this same place. It makes me wish I had taken my undergraduate degree in psychology and gone on to graduate school as I had originally planned. Had I done that I would now be in a much more fulfilling career instead of sitting behind a desk doing meaningless work everyday.<br /><br />I have always had the desire to serve and to help others since I was a teenager, but as I grow oler the desire is even stronger. I work with a couple of my special places, but I want to do so much more and there just isn't enough of me and enough time to go around. Ah, perhaps one of these days my dream of doing more will become a reality.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-75624325093356391452011-11-30T07:23:00.003-05:002011-12-27T14:33:00.228-05:00Riding in Cars with Boys..Make that Men“You’re late,” he observed as she hurriedly hopped into his car.<br /><br />“I’m sorry,” she answered breathlessly. “I got stuck at work.”<br /><br />“Hmmm,” was his only response.<br /><br />Their meetings were often hurried and clandestine as they each had busy lives full of other responsibilities.<br /><br />He looked at her pointedly, his green eyed gaze seeming to pierce her very soul, as his hand went to the bulge that was already forming at his crotch.<br /><br />“I’ve been sitting here waiting for you for 30 minutes with THIS growing between my legs and causing me considerable discomfort,” he coldly informed her.<br /><br />“I’m sorry, I really…” her voice trailed off as he put his finger to her lips.<br /><br />“Take your clothes off,” he ordered.<br /><br />She obediently unbuttoned her blouse, removed her bra, and unzipped her skirt until <br />they were all in a heap at her feet.<br /><br />“Now recline your seat back”<br /><br />As she did so, he reached over to pinch and tweak her nipples as she arched her back and moaned with the pleasure. He knew her inside and out. He knew this aroused her at times to the point of orgasm. She mewed in protest when he stopped.<br /><br />She watched as he unzipped is pants and freed his blood swollen aching cock. He began to stroke himself slowly, precum oozing along his thumb and forefinger.<br /><br />“You want this, don’t you?” he teased<br /><br />“Oh yes, yes I do,” she moaned as she felt her wetness seeping onto his leather seats.<br /><br />He continued to stroke, his head thrown back, his breath coming harder and faster as his eyes traveled over her body laid out before him.<br /><br />When she could no longer contain her desire, she leaned over to take him in her mouth only to have him slap her face away.<br /><br />“You were late. You don’t get to suck me. You get to watch.”<br /><br />She leaned back to her side of the car and watched fervently as he stroked his cock, sweat breaking out on his forehead which she longed to lick if only to have some part of his saltiness in her mouth.<br /><br />“Fuck, you look so hot. I want to empty this load right inside you.”<br /><br />“But I can’t can I? You didn’t follow my directions, did you?”<br /><br />She shook her head no as her eyes remained locked on his pumping hand.<br /><br />His hips began to pump up into his hand, he got the far away look in his eye and his breath came out in a wrenching groan which she knew from countless other hours spent with him meant he was about to cum.<br /><br />He reached out and gripped her left breast in his hand so hard she let out a small cry and knew she would have a memento of this time with him the next day when his fingerprints appeared on the tender flesh of her breast. With a groan that filled the cabin of the car, he looked into her eyes as he exploded into his hand.<br />She licked her lips, aching to taste him, to feel his cock growing soft in her mouth as his orgasm subsided.<br /><br />“Clean up this mess you’ve made,” he directed.<br /><br />She eagerly leaned over and began to lick his penis clean of his sweet salty cum making certain to suck each ball into her mouth swirling them clean with her tongue as he sighed and whispered what a good girl she was and what a hot little mouth she had.<br /><br />“Get out of the car,” he ordered in a frighteningly serious tone.<br /><br />“Baby, please, I’m naked,” she whimpered.<br /><br />He considered this for a beat and replied, “As you did such a good job cleaning up the mess you made of my cock, you may put your skirt back on.”<br /><br />She quickly shimmied into her skirt and haltingly opened the door, looking back at him one last time with a plea in her eyes of “Please don’t make me do this.”<br /><br />When he continued to fix his green gaze on her with no hint of reprisal, she got out of the car.<br /><br />“Now go to the front of the car, and lay down across the hood,” he directed.<br /><br />Minutes felt like hours as she lay there against the cold hood of the car exposed in the open parking lot.<br /><br />She finally heard the click of the door as he exited the car as well.<br /><br />He leaned down over her and whispered softly in her ear, “You want me inside you now, don’t you?”<br /><br />God help her, she did. She wanted him with a desire that often kept her awake at night, lying there aching for him, remembering his touch, his scent, his taste.<br /><br />“Yes, I want it more than anything. Please give me what I need,” she begged.<br />Her skin burned with his touch as he lifted her skirt and slid inside her wet, needy hole.<br /><br />“AHHHHHH,” escaped her lips as he pumped his way deeper inside her.<br /><br />He gripped her hips and began to pound into her with a need born of too many stolen encounters, too little time together, a longing for each other that was never fully satisfied. Her breasts bounced against the hood of the car as they fucked with abandon in the open parking lot for anyone who happened by to witness.<br /><br />His cock found just the right spot inside her as it always did. She felt her legs growing weak as her orgasm began to build. It spread from the flush in her breasts, to a pulse in her belly until she finally exploded with cries of pleasure as it washed over her cunt in endless spasms.<br /><br />When she had spent herself, he gripped her long, curly hair in his hands pulling her upper body roughly up off the hood of the car as he plunged into her his own orgasm furiously churning in his balls. He came softly this time, pumping a few more times before allowing himself to slip out of her. Her own juices mixed with his cum flowed freely down the insides of her thigh.<br /><br />They quickly re-entered the car where they spent their remaining time, touching, caressing, kissing longing for a love that would never be theirs to hold.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-85968331866770959632011-11-29T08:21:00.002-05:002011-11-29T08:25:19.682-05:00Good Morning My LoveI awoke to the sensation of his hand moving under the covers. As I gradually became more conscious I became aware that he was stroking his cock which is often so achingly hard first thing in the morning. I laid there on my side quietly observing, my cunt growing wet at the sensation of the covers moving ever more rapidly, and his breath increasing as his arousal grew. The sounds of sex have always been far more arousing to me than the sights…the grunts, the moans, the sighs, the whispered “I love yous” as we make love.<br /><br />He turned to me, spooning me as he began to rub his cock against my ass. I arched it out for him, eager to feel the slick precum oozing out onto his hand and my ass. In very short order, he rose up above me, placed himself between my legs as I was still turned on my side and entered me. He found no resistance as my cunt was by now swollen and dripping wet. I laid there prostrate,my face buried in the pillow, barely awake as he used my body for his pleasure, pounding deeper and deeper inside me. His finger slid into my ass as I groaned with the sensation of fullness as he filled both holes. With 3 mighty pumps into my deepest recesses he came inside me with a low, guttural groan.<br /><br />We curled up together and went back to sleep, satisfied with his use of the body that is his for the taking anytime he wishes.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-79238190432790451272011-11-21T16:17:00.002-05:002011-11-21T16:21:57.439-05:00My Life in DreamsI had a dream last night about someone I was in love with, but have not thought about in quite some time. I guess my subconscious must have been thinking about him for a while though! It was a very vivid dream. One of those that spills over into your waking time the next day, and clouds the whole day with thoughts, feelings and memories of that person. <br /><br />Today I am stuck in the past paying tribute to the ghost of my former love. Sometimes when I have vivid dreams like this about someone I knew its effects are gone within a day, while other times they can linger for several days. I can’t help but ask myself if there is something my subconscious is trying to work out about this man. My conscious mind is 100% certain that it has accepted this person's absence from my life and is fine with it, but my subconcious seems to have something more to say on the matter. I don’t care to share the details of the dream as they are intensely personal and fraught with feeling, but many aspects of it seem to have clearly been my subconscious sorting through feelings and longings.<br /><br />Funny how there are just some people who never leave our hearts no matter how long the actual physical relationship itself has been over.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-84356701594640446522011-11-13T17:37:00.000-05:002011-11-13T17:37:52.174-05:00Mimi's BackI'm back, dear reader, as you may have noticed by my most recent post. I have been away for several months battling that dastardly depression that raised it's ugly head again 4 months or so ago. It finally got so bad that I found myself a new psychiatrist, got on a new medication which after 3 weeks or so began to work much better than any other medication I ever have been on, and began to see a therapist. I feel like a new person and it feels WONDERFUL!!<br /><br />For any out there who may follow my blog and suffer from depression, I say to you GET THE HELP YOU NEED!! One of the ugly, frustrating (especially for those close to you) things depression does to you is rob you of your energy, your ability to make decisions, and your ability to act. This means it can be difficult to pull yourself together enough to even seek help, but in most cases, it's not going to get better until you seek treatment, be it medication, counseling or a combination of the two. I was fortunate to have Jay who continued to urge me to get my medication changed, and seek help. There is also a stigma attached to any sort of mental illness that prevents some from admiting they have a problem and seeking help. To this I say, it is a medical condition just like diabetes, high blood pressure or any other physical malady and NOTHING to be ashamed about. You can feel so much better, and live a healthy happy life if you just seek out the right treatments.<br /><br />My Jay has been very supportive through all this, although admittedly very frustrated at times. He constantly reassured me that we would get through this and everything would be ok. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdn4Jq8jHhk">This</a> Sugarland song always makes me think of him and how he has tried to support and help me through this. He truely is my best friend, my lover and my partner in this crazy world.<br /><br />"So when your heart is heavy like a stone from carrying it's load/And you look into the mirror and see someone you don't know/When the shadows are closing in on you like a hand around your throat/I will shine the light"<br /><br />This is quite an apt description of what depression feels like for me.<br /><br />"Some roads we all will have to walk alone/But waiting there in the end is a heart that calls you friend/That's me, clapping the loudest, welcoming you home."<br /><br />I feel that I have been absent from my life altogether for the past several months, and although Jay could not experience the pain and misery with me, he was my comfort and my cheerleader urging me to find my way back.<br /><br />I hope to be sharing naughty, debaucherous thoughts with you again soon.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-21855154975337638012011-11-09T13:12:00.005-05:002012-03-05T11:10:31.725-05:00His KissThe first time you kissed me popped into my mind today out of the blue, and I found myself relaxing into the erotic, yet also now nostalgic memories.<br /><br />When your lips first met mine my first thought was that they were like no other lips I had ever kissed before. Their overriding sensation was that of fullness. They caressed my own lips like a soft, warm pillow. As your tongue darted into my mouth, I sighed, my hands going to the back of your head, my knees buckling ever so slightly. All sense of time or our surroundings was lost to me.<br /><br />Soon after I found myself on a bed beneath you, both of us fully clothed, writhing around with a burning desire for you. My mind’s eye can still see us...my legs entwined with yours, your cock pressing hard and insistent against my thigh through your jeans, my hands in your hair, our lips feverishly locked together as I paused to breathe into your mouth, “I want this so much,” followed quickly by my frenzied tugging at your shirt, desperate for skin on skin contact. My crotch is moist and swollen even all these years later as I savor the memory of those moments with you.<br /><br />When our desire had been satisfied for the moment, what heavenly small little kisses we exchanged, our tongues darting gently in and out of each others mouth as we lay face to face, and I found myself mesmerized by your stunning green eyes.<br /><br />I recall at some point later, standing on my tiptoes to better reach your lips as I kissed you in my stocking feet, deeply aroused by your superior height and strength as you lifted me off my feet for an embrace. We delayed the inevitable as long as possible as we stood there kissing and touching one another.<br /><br />Even all these years later, when that time in our lives has long been put to bed, despite the things that may not have gone right between us, your kiss is a warm and cozy memory forever filed in my brain and etched on my heart.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-88605305210413530902011-08-26T15:59:00.004-04:002011-08-26T17:50:16.359-04:00Loyalty<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CgFZbGnDEfQ/Tlf7Zu3MA3I/AAAAAAAAAbk/NC8K8q9EWuE/s1600/dog-mourns-loss-navy-seal.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CgFZbGnDEfQ/Tlf7Zu3MA3I/AAAAAAAAAbk/NC8K8q9EWuE/s320/dog-mourns-loss-navy-seal.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5645257077427012466" /></a>
<br />
<br />
<br />No words are needed for this photo, but I’ll give you the story that goes with it… John Tumlison was a Navy SEAL who was killed in Afghanistan on Aug 6 when a rocket-propelled grenade took out a U.S. helicopter. He was mourned at a service in Rockford, Iowa recently. His dog, Hawkeye, was such an important part of his life that he was present at the service as well. When Tumlison’s friend walked to the front of the room to speak, dear Hawkeye followed him and dutifully laid down near his Master's casket.
<br />
<br />I cannot get this image out of my mind since I saw it this morning. It is such a testament to what wonderful, loving, loyal animals dogs are,that they do form strong bonds with their humans, and that they can and do mourn the loss of a loved one. I am blessed to share my home with 4 of these amazing creatures!
<br />
<br />
<br />Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-22521203151050794192011-08-11T08:43:00.003-04:002011-08-11T08:47:39.900-04:00Please<em>I like your pants around your feet
<br />I like the dirt that’s on your knees
<br />I like the way you still say please while you’re lookin’ up at me
<br />You’re like my favorite damn disease</em>
<br />
<br />Lyrics from a Nickelback song I heard this morning on the way to work that never fail to turn me on. Of course we all know which line it is that just makes me a puddle of wet, writhing mush don’t we? Ding, ding, ding…you have won if you chose line #3!
<br />
<br />Those four lines paint an entire picture for me, and it’s terribly erotic. It is a picture of myself on my knees on the floor of a dirty hotel room or public bathroom, my pants feverishly shoved into a messy, tangled heap at my feet. He towers over me (sometimes it is a specific “he” sometimes not, but always he is towering over me) his bulging cock inches from my face as I look up at him and whisper “please.” That “please” means so many things…please let me suck your cock for you, please relieve this ache between my legs, please fuck me, please tell me what to do, please use me for your pleasure, please let me belong to you.
<br />
<br />I am wet just thinking about what the word “Please” means to me.
<br />
<br />Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-76869925896184677712011-08-07T16:37:00.004-04:002011-08-11T08:50:50.037-04:00You and TequilaI am not in a good place this weekend. I swear sometimes I think I just don't want to be content. Sometimes I think there is just something too terribly boring and ordinary in being happy with my life. Whatever the cause, the last few days have not been good ones. I comfort myself with the thought that most of the great artists were also nut cases!!
<br />
<br />Thus, this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8XkLrErSHw&ob=av2n">song</a> is on my mind. In my case, however it would be "You and Vodka make me crazy."
<br />
<br />"One is one too many, one more is never enough..." seems a neat, succinct synopsis of my life. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that thought.
<br />
<br /><em>P.S. It is now Thursday and I am out of my self imposed funk. Fortunately I do know what brought it on, and have corrected it. Let's just say it had something to do with my illness a few weeks ago and the drugs they gave me, and leave it at that. </em> Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-55404620566725398322011-07-31T21:23:00.003-04:002011-07-31T21:30:46.389-04:00New JewleryI had to have my annual mammogram today. The inconvenient part about this is that I had to go down to the tattoo shop where I had my nipples pierced and have them remove my hoops and install plastic "filler" bars before going for the mammogram. Jay offered to remove them for me, however, the way these hoops are set up requires bending the metal hoop just wide enough with a pair of pliers to remove the metal ball in the middle holding everything together. I love my Jay, but in all honesty, I didn't trust him not to slip up and cause me unspeakable pain!!<br /><br />The good part about this is that after the mammogram, I went back to the shop, purchased these lovely new hoops with glittery, dangly hearts, and had them placed back into my nipple piercing. I feel so sexy this evening with my new adornments!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s1T3FFZ2vt8/TjYAdH2qK5I/AAAAAAAAAbU/GNgFbHQqAEk/s1600/DSCF5004.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s1T3FFZ2vt8/TjYAdH2qK5I/AAAAAAAAAbU/GNgFbHQqAEk/s320/DSCF5004.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635692484025265042" /></a>Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-9266699015788013172011-07-26T11:48:00.000-04:002011-07-26T11:49:30.263-04:00Another of Life's Embarrassing MomentsI was in a fender bender car accident last Tuesday. Although I managed to keep my cool, I was highly pissed off at the time. One because it caused my daughter to miss the horse riding lesson we were on our way to attend, and because this particular car was brand new to me! I hadn’t even made the first damn payment on it yet when this guy rear ended me as I was yielding to make a right hand turn. <br /><br />A little over a month ago my piece of crap car finally bit the dust for good. I was hoping and praying it would make it two more years until Jay’s car was paid off, but it wasn’t to be. So Jay and I set off one Saturday about a month ago in search of a car for me with a sinking feeling in the pit of our stomach’s knowing what we could afford at the moment would likely be another piece of crap. Turns out God was listening as I prayed all the way to the first dealership as we happened upon an incredible deal on a used vehicle with rather low mileage that checked out with our mechanic at a price we could live with. While a 2005 model, this is the nicest damn car I have ever owned…leather seats, heated seats, DVD player for my daughter, 3rd row seating, and a whole host of other features too numerous to mention.<br /><br />I am getting off topic here. The point of my story lies in the fact that I had a slightly sore neck and shoulders after my rear end collision. My daughter was and is perfectly fine thank goodness, and I am perfectly fine now as well. However, at the time, my neck and shoulders were a little sore. After some coaxing and bullying by Jay and one of his best friends, I was convinced to go to the doctor to have it checked out and documented in case it grew worse over the next few days.<br /><br />Part of this checking out procedure of course involved X- rays. The X -ray technician had me disrobe in a little cubicle and instructed me to remove my earrings. As I was doing this I realized I had the rings in my pierced nipples. I pondered whether or not I needed to tell her, and finally decided that I did. I mean, what if the X- ray was going to rip the rings from my nipples, right?<br /><br />I sheepishly said to her as I entered the X- ray room, “This is a little embarrassing, but I have my nipples pierced as well.”<br /><br />She looks at me in a confused manner for a beat and says, “Can you remove them?”<br /><br />Now feeling even more embarrassed, I reply, “No, I can’t. They are a locked sort of ring that I can’t remove on my own.”<br /><br />She replies, “All right. It’s ok then.”<br /><br />I had to make sure I was not in great peril by stating, “I was afraid the X- ray might do something horrible like rip them out,” as I laughed nervously.<br /><br />She laughed as if I was an idiot and replied, “Oh no, it won’t do anything like that, honey.”<br /><br />So we continued with the X-rays, and all was going well until she had me lying on the table taking X-rays of my back and exclaimed, “Boy that’s a big belly button ring you have.”<br /><br />In my worry over the nipple rings I had forgotten all about the navel piercing which is dangly and rather large. I wanted to crawl under the table at this point.<br /><br />“I’m sorry. I forgot all about that,” I laughed.<br /><br />“Can you take that off?” she asks.<br /><br />“Yes, I can,” I reply as I fumble to lift my gown while not letting her see I am not wearing panties and remove the belly ring. At this point, I am starting to hate my husband and his friend for making me come have this done, ha ha!! The only thing that redeemed the trip was the good drugs they prescribed me for the pain!<br /><br />She then must retake several X-rays as I now understand why they ask you to remove all jewelry when having an X-ray. Not because it will rip the metal from your body as any idiot should know, but because it can block the radiologist’s view of the area of your body they are trying to examine in the X-ray.<br /><br />I’m having a mammogram in a few days. Would you be surprised if I told you I have already made an appointment at the tattoo shop to have the nipple rings taken out for me and then put back in when I am done?!!Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-7990958241872960862011-07-18T13:41:00.002-04:002011-07-18T13:46:25.824-04:00His Wet, Humiliated SubWhen your husband comes out of the bathroom after peeing to tell you he saved some just for you, and you get wet and tingly at the thought of being pissed on, you know you are both a freaky deviant and hopelessly his sub!<br /><br />This reminds me that I don’t believe I have shared with you, dear reader, the details of the one and only time thus far he has actually peed on me which occurred a few months back.<br /><br />I was blindfolded and tied down spread eagle on the bed on my stomach. It was a very intense session. I was whacked with the bamboo cane which I HATE over and over again until I legitimately began to cry. The feeling of helplessness is particularly acute when you are restrained and can do very little to escape the blows raining down on your ass.<br /><br />Next came the Icy Hot on my asshole. Jay has applied the Icy Hot to me several times before sending me off to work in the morning to keep me on his mind all day. It has always resulted in an arousing mixture of pleasure and pain and accomplished the task of keeping him on my mind. This time, however, he meant business! He used much more of it than he ever has before some of which, unfortunately dripped onto my pussy…OUCH!<br /><br />I took it for as long as I could coupled with more whacks from the cane until I broke. I began to cry and beg and told him he HAD to get it off me right now. He mercifully untied me and led me still blindfolded into the bathroom. He led me to the tub and told me to kneel in it. <br /><br />I was terribly confused thinking he meant to wash me there in the tub. I knelt there obediently, squirming and moaning and begging him to hurry. He handed me a cold wash cloth and told me to wipe myself which I did. I found some relief this way, but longed to get in the shower and wash thoroughly.<br /><br />I continued to kneel obediently, still blindfolded, still confused until I felt warm liquid on my chest and arms. At first I thought he was washing me, but the tub was not on. Then I began to sniff the air and blurted out, “Oh my God, are you peeing on me?”<br /><br />I knelt there both humiliated and deeply aroused as he stood over me and pissed his warm, acrid smelling piss all over my chest and arms and belly. I felt so controlled which translated for me to also highly aroused.<br /><br />When he was finished, he removed my blindfold and told me to get in the shower and clean myself up.<br /><br />Afterwards, I went to him, clean and fresh smelling, and he fucked me deep and hard as we both craved.<br /><br />I can’t wait for him to pee on me again…Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-54152198668103001322011-07-17T11:35:00.002-04:002011-07-17T11:56:33.359-04:00Watching"Come here," he commanded in a throaty, sleep swollen voice.<br /><br />I scooted my backside up against his frontside. His hands wandered to my breasts. He began to squeeze them before moving to the more delicate work at the nipple.<br /><br />I had an overwhelming desire to watch his hands work on my breasts. I moved the covers down. His muscular, manly hands on my breast evoked a little cry of lust from me. My cunt responded to the sight immediately with a throbbing insistance. He worked the nipple, rolling it between his fingers, pausing to tug the ring running through my pierced nipple until I was moaning and writhing in ectascy.<br /><br />He flipped me over on my back so he could work both breasts at the same time. I shoved the covers down around my knees so he could watch as I slipped a hand between my legs and began to masturbate as he continued his adoration of my breasts. My clit stood up erect and sensitive, my flowing juices making the rubbing of it even more delicious. I raised my head from the pillow to watch as he tugged at both nipple rings, my hand reaching for and grasping his hard cock. I stroked him for a few moments until my hand flew to my cunt, fingers shoved up inside it as I continued to masturbate my clit. <br /><br />I climbed higher and higher until I was gasping, "I want to cum. I am going to cum, Daddy."<br /><br />He squeezed my breasts hard as I bit into the pillow at the side of my head to stifle my moans of orgasm. When I had grunted and groaned my way through the last throes of pleasure, I pleaded, "I need you to fuck me now."<br /><br />He spread my legs and rested them on his shoulders just before he entered me. That first entry with its soft little "pop" as the head of his cock pushes it's way through my folds is always the sweetest. I moaned quietly as he pushed his way inside my slippery hole. He rocked gently back and forth inside me, building up the pace. <br /><br />As he thrust harder and harder inside me he spat out through gritted teeth, "I'm going to tie you up at a construction site and let them cum all over you," just before he emptied himself inside me with his own orgasm.<br /><br />Oh how I love Sunday morning sex. Makes me glad we decided we were too lazy to get up for church this morning!Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-79094167044717789572011-07-17T01:03:00.000-04:002011-07-17T01:04:10.262-04:00StrongerEvery time I hear this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk">song</a> by Sara Evans I am always reminded of a time in my life that doesn't seem as long ago as it actually was. It takes me back to the seemingly endless parade of days that I "woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain/but I brushed my teeth anyway/I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face." I am instantly transported to all the mornings and afternoons I cried the entire trip back and forth to work because it provided the most privacy for letting myself cry, then tried to fix my face so no one would know I had been crying when I arrived at my destination.<br /><br />The message of this song, however, is the resiliency of the human heart. It reminds us that with enough time we all can and do get over the pain of heartbreak. Some of us take just weeks or months while others of us, like me, take years. The message I want to convey here is that I am not only just a little bit stronger, but completely done with the grieving and "what if's" of letting go. If you need to hear this message, you know who you are. Believe me when I say it has happened. I hope it brings a smile to your face.<br /><br />As the song says, "I know my heart will never be the same..." but that doesn't mean it is incapable of healing and moving on. I believe I posted several posts back that I recently told Jay I feel happier than I think I ever have in my life. I honestly don't know exactly why, but I also have no desire to question it.<br /><br />My life feels full and meaningful again...more meaningful than it ever has. I am more in love with my husband than I have ever been. More in love even than the day I married him. As an added bonus, I feel attractive and sexy again which translates to a wonderful sex life again for Jay and I!<br /><br />I am filled with energy and enthusiasm both for my job and several volunteer opportunities I have been meaning to pursue for a long time. It seems that life is good after 40 when you finally start to figure out who the hell you are, and discover that she's a pretty cool chick!<br /><br />Carpe Diem, my friends!Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-9530123745484847202011-07-16T14:30:00.007-04:002011-07-17T00:44:25.317-04:00Health UpdateFor those of you who may be interested, I have a health update for you. I was sent to a gastroenterologist on Thursday with the idea I may need to have an endoscopy procedure. This is a rather unpleasant sounding procedure in which the doctor places a tube with a camera on the end of it down your esophagus into your stomach to look mainly for ulcers and take a small biopsy.<br /><br />I was greatly relieved to hear from the gastroenterologist that he did not feel I needed that procedure at this time. After going over all my records and tests from the ER and my primary doctor and with the sudden onset of my symptoms, he seemed to be in agreement with the ER doctor that the ibuprofen had caused small ulcerations in the lining of my stomach. He said these ulcers can take 2-4 weeks to heal completely, and he has known a few patients who took several months to get 100% back to normal. The medications I was given by my primary doctor on Monday will aid in my stomach's healing and help control the nausea. He made a follow up phone appointment with me in 3 weeks at which time he said he was confident all my symptoms would be gone.<br /><br />I only managed to work a day and a half this week. As of today's writing on Saturday I am greatly improved from last week but still definately having some pain, nausea, and fatigue issues. My children and I did some volunteer work this morning at the local animal shelter and I am so exhausted now I will likely be in bed for most of the rest of the day.<br /><br />I have always known that doctors caution you on the use of ibuprofen and the stomach upset it can cause for some people, but NEVER dreamed it could do this to me. I was taking prescription strength which is 800 mg 3 times a day. Just for comparison, over the counter ibuprofen is only 200 mg/ tablet so it is a significant difference. The funny thing is that I have taken presciption strength before for an ankle injury when I first started running a few years ago, and had no ill effects whatsoever. As much as I hate to say this, perhaps age plays a factor here. It does seem that once you turn 40 your body begins to fall apart...LOL.<br /><br />I am relieved to know nothing is seriously wrong with me, but impatient to get back to 100% and all my normal activites.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-18897072039558421602011-07-12T20:52:00.005-04:002011-07-16T14:26:39.042-04:00Poor Sick MimiI need to whine for a moment so bear with me, dear reader. I have been horribly ill for a week now during mine and Jay's stay at home vacation no less!!<br /><br />I had been having ear pain for about a week and a half which continued to worsen until it was so unbearable last Wednesday that I finally went to the doctor. My doctor diagnosed me with TMJ which is an inflammation of the jaw joint and surrounding muscles. I was given presciption ibuprofen to take 3 times a day and told to call if it did not improve. After suffering horrible pain the rest of that day and night I called the next morning to ask for something stronger for the pain.<br /><br />Here comes my rant on HMO's which is our only available insurance choice via Jay's employer. I called their main number, explained my need and was then transferred to a nurse in a call center where I explained my need again. I was told a message would be sent to my doctor and they would contact me. Two hours later when we had had no return call, Jay called. He was connected to the nurse call center yet again and explained his wife was in horrible pain, neither of us had slept for much of the night and I really needed some additional pain relief. Do you know what this nurse had the audacity to say to him? <br /><br />"I have sent a message to her doctor, Sir. He has 24-48 hours to get back with you." <br /><br />I was stunned at the callousness of someone in a supposedly caring profession. Jay was FURIOUS! He then asked to be connected to the person in charge of the center. The extremly unhelpful nurse places Jay on hold for close to 5 minutes then returns to say she is connecting him and proceeds to connect him to a fucking voice mail! At this point, Jay is about to explode with anger.<br /><br />He calls back explains the whole damn problem again and tells the nurse on the other end that he will NOT be connected to a voice mail, he MUST speak with a person. After a good 30 minutes on the phone we FINALLY get my doctor. I explain to him my pain and he gives me a prescription for Lortab and advises me to continue with the ibuprofen as well for the inflammation. By Friday my ear pain was all but resolved, but my health saga does not end there. I now had an even more serious problem which has still not resolved itself.<br /><br />I awoke in the middle of the night last Thursday with horrible stomach pain. The pain continued nearly non stop until I was in tears and finally had Jay take me to the ER about 11:30 Friday evening. They thankfully gave me IV pain and anti-nausea medication which brought me relief at the time. They did blood tests and ruled out their most serious concern of a problem with my pancreas. The doctor seemed to feel I was suffering gastritis due to the ibuprofen the last couple of days. I was sent home with a presciption for Prevacid and instuctions to take the Lortab for continuing pain and follow up with my doctor if the pain continues.<br /><br />This was Friday night. After a weekend of suffering and increasing nausea so severe I could not sit up for more than 15-30 minutes at a time, Jay took me back to the doctor on Monday. I was sent for an ultrasound where they ruled out any problems with my gall bladder, pancreas or liver. <br /><br />My doctor now believes I have a peptic ulcer. I was given 3 different medications and told to call again Thursday to report how I am feeling and the next steps to be taken. The medication has thankfully greatly relieved my nausea and my stomach pain has somewhat improved, but I am still quite miserable and very easily fatigued.<br /><br />After being on vacation last week (which pretty much sucked since I have been sick since Wednesday) I really needed to get back to work, but have been unable to return. I plan to return tomorrow, but don't expect to make it more than half the day especially since I cannot take the pain medication while at work.<br /><br />The one and only upside to all of this is that I have lost 5 pounds since last week...LOL. I can't recall ever being so sick that I have lost my appetite for any period of time. It is a very strange phenomenon for me, but damn I ought to get a little something out of this suffering! I have not been able to exercise for over a week which is driving me nuts, so I guess it is a good thing I have lost my appetite!<br /><br />So there it is...my whining session. If you have read all the way to the bottom, thank you, dear reader. I will NEVER again take my health for granted and long to return to my normal life.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-22579051108526585242011-07-08T04:17:00.007-04:002011-07-17T02:31:26.747-04:00A New, Submissive MeIt has been some time since my last post...I apologize for that. Life seems to have a way of getting in the way of blogging. I suppose I did leave everyone hanging a bit with my last post. The much anticipated meeting with our new Mentor never happened due to unforseen developments in his personal life. He did teach us much and advance us further down our D/s path, however without me ever having met him in person at all. For that I thank you Sir. I have continued to make some great strides lately in my quest to submit to Jay.<br /><br />I really cannot explain it, but something seems to have just fundamentally shifted in me as a person and as a submissive of late...all for the better. Overall, I find myself feeling much more self confident than normal, most especially at work but in my personal life as well. I am much more willing to engage with others socially, and just much happier in general. I told Jay the other day that I feel happier lately than I think I ever have in my life, yet the old pessimist in me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop as if this can't possibly last forever. I really cannot point to anything in particular responsible for this change as I have been doing nothing at all different in my life.<br /><br />On the D/s side of things, I feel much more sexual in general with a greatly increased libido. More than that, I truely see Jay as my Master now. I respect him and wish nothing more than to please him with my submission. This new vision culminated in a most pleasing and erotic visit to a local dungeon last Saturday.<br /><br />Upon entering the place, Master sat on a sofa and directed me to sit on the floor at his feet. He had me retrieve my collar from his bag and present it to him to fasten around my neck. After some time just sitting, he led me around the place by my leash observing and investigating the various pieces of furniture and play things that were there.<br /><br />After a little more sitting at Master's feet hoping the folks using the St. Andrew's cross would soon be finished with it which they were not...ha, ha....Master had me remove my dress and kneel before him in position 3. He chose to place me on my knees in a stocks like device. He then rubbed my back and bottom with a soft piece of rabbit fur until I felt like purring. From there the crop was brought out and used to smack and warm my ass up. Master then moved on to the flogger as I moaned with his attentions. As the stocks had me in a quite uncomfortable physical position, Master eventually freed me, and chained me face down by the wrists in a standing position to another piece of furniture which I find difficult to describe. It was padded, and shaped rather like a honeycomb of sorts, and curved such that I could recline against it.<br /><br />Here Master again took out the flogger and began to flog my backside in earnest. I could hear him chatting with a couple who had been watching us. When the flogger was put away, I heard the man ask Master, "Is that bamboo?" at which I began to whimper. I HATE the bamboo cane. It hurts, hurts, hurts. Master rubbed it gently against my backside as I whimpered softly. He began to lighly flick me with it as I tried not to wiggle about too much, already anticipating the sting I knew was coming. Master toyed with me for a bit with light little strokes before unleashing one stinging blow which caused me to cry out.<br /><br />With that, he put the bamboo cane away, unchained me, offered me some much needed water, as it was very hot in the dungeon and I was coated in a sheen of sweat. When I was suffuciently rested, he shackled me to the device again, face up this time. He then brought out the crop again and began to smack my breasts with it. After some time of this, he retrieved the clothes pins from his bag and began to affix them to my breasts. He allowed a male member of the group that had assembled to watch to caress me as he did this. When the clothes pins were affixed to his liking to my breasts, he ordered me to spread my legs father apart and began to affix them to my labia. I moaned with the sensation, flying high on endorphins already.<br /><br />Master then began to lightly strike me with the crop, warming me up for the blows that would smack the clothes pins off my breasts. His assistant continued to caress me all over. I felt the male member of the couple who had been watching all night slide his finger into my hand. He had told us earlier as he watched my flogging he had wanted to grip my hand to see how hard I would squeeze and thereby judge the pain I was experiencing. When Master felt I was good and ready he began to smack clothes pins off my breasts one by one. I groaned and cried out with the pain and pleasure, my head tossing to and fro. When all the clothes pins had been smacked off, Master lovingly rubbed me down with the soft rabbit fur. The sensation was exquisite.<br /><br />He then moved to the clothes pins on my pussy, running his hands over them and batting at them a bit. I hoped and trusted Master would not be so sadistic as to smack those off with the flogger as well, but was preparing myself for whatever he decided his pleasure would be. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard him tell the couple, "I would not be so sadistic as to smack these off." He began to gently remove them one by one. I cried out with the sharp sensation of pain as blood began to flow back into my labia.<br /><br />Other pleasures occured during the evening. I was eventually bound by wrists and ankles to the St. Andrew's cross and given another good flogging. Master brought out the large wooden paddle which I also greatly hate! It was given to him as a gift by Mistress Faye's husband some time ago. He lightly rubbed it against my ass teasing me while eventually only giving me a light blow with it. Through the course of the evening, I had the flogger, crop, paddle and whip used on my backside leaving some rather lovely although not terribly numerous marks on my backside...we planned to go to the pool the next day and Master was making a careful attempt not to mark me in areas that would show outside my bikini bottom!<br /><br />The evening culminated in Master leading me on all fours to the dog cage there. He had me crawl in, still naked. He leaned over and told me to begin to masturbate. I wanted to resist, I wanted to say no, but I wanted even more than that to submit and please my Master. So I reached a hand between my legs and began to masturbate as a roomful of people alternately watched and continued their own conversations. It was humiliating, and I was soaking wet! When this had gone on for some time, Master unlocked the cage and led me out on all fours. He whispered to me that he had a treat for me.<br /><br />He had me crawl over to a very attractive, and completely naked girl who had been making pointed eye contact with me while I was in the cage. Master then directed me to provide her oral pleasure until she came. <br /><br />I began to kiss her, tasting her warm wet tongue. I moved down to her breasts, young and firm and a little smaller than my own. I sucked them into my mouth, biting gently at the nipple. After some time spent with her beautiful breasts, I licked and kissed my way down her tummy to her smooth shaven mound. I parted her lips and began to suck her clit. At that same time, her Master grabbed her by the neck and began to squeeze at which she cried out loudly. I hesitated, thinking I had done something to hurt her or something otherwise altogether wrong until I caught the look of ectascy on her face. Her Master laid her back against the bed on which she sat and continued to apply pressure to her throat as I eagerly licked her clit and slid a finger inside her sloppy wet pussy. <br /><br />I must admit I felt a bit inept and unsure of myself. I have the same equipment, you would think it would be a no brainer that I would know what to do to pleasure her. Still I was entirely unsure I was doing it correctly. When I expressed this to Jay later in the evening he jokingly asked if he was going to have to teach me how to eat pussy, ha, ha! Her clit seemed rather small much like my own. I licked and sucked while fucking her with my finger until she writhed and moaned about and seemed to be genuinely pleasured.<br /><br />This scene was pretty much the close of our evening. Jay and I soon left after this. Reading this account back now, it sounds like some sort of letter to Penthouse, entirely made up and out of the realm of the possible, yet I assure you it all was indeed very real. I feel that a new world has been opened to Jay and I with a simple change in my own mindset that seemed to have simply come of its own accord with little conncious thought or decision on my part. Our sex these last few weeks has been AMAZING. I dont recall it ever being better in the 13 years we have been together. I feel closer and more in love with him than ever. Life is very good right now.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5889068587492586057.post-11154366337234654832011-05-20T10:07:00.002-04:002011-05-20T10:14:12.022-04:00TomorrowTomorrow I will be meeting our D/s mentor for the first time. Jay had a fairly lengthy meeting with him several weeks ago. I have communicated with him extensively via phone and text, but not yet seen him in person.<br /><br />I am both giddy with excitement and extremly anxious. I have pitched several temper tantrums,and at times exhibited behavior unbecoming of a submissive. I have been told I will receive the proper discipline for my behavior. Our new mentor means business, this I know. He is good at what he does. He won't be inclined to go easy on me as Jay often is. He will teach Jay not to go easy on me. <br /><br />I need this. I crave this. I fear this.Mimihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17539529561187263347noreply@blogger.com0