Monday, March 26, 2012

A Droplet Of Nectar

After just 3 days of hand pumping and elecric pumping, a drop of milk. My body always was good at making milk. I can't wait until I can produce enough to stimulate the let down reflex...


Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Pump

My breast pump arrived on Saturday!!! I was giddy with anticipation until I had the opportunity to use it later that afternoon. It was quite an experience.

I pressed the cone shaped cup to my breast, turned on the pump and felt the familiar tug at my nipple that I recalled from some 9 years ago. Colostrum almost immediately began to trickle out of my nipple. I take that as a good sign that I might eventually have some success with convincing my body to lactate again. Jay also found a tea it is recommended that I drink.

I relaxed and enjoyed the sucking and tugging at my nipple by the pump as Jay lay on the bed with me and watched. After 15 minutes I switched to the other breast, my first breast leaking little droplets of colostrum from the nipple.

As the pump began its tugging at my second breast, Jay handed me my egg and suggested I pleasure myself as the pump did its work. I closed my eyes, the pump sucking at my nipple, the egg vibrating against my clit and imagined Jay and my Hot Englishman each lying alongside me, eagerly sucking milk that was flowing freely from my breasts. I imagined feeling each of their hard cocks pressed against my thighs. I imagined my breasts shooting out streams of milk as they each stroked their cocks over me until their ribbons of cum entwined with the milk pouring from my breasts. Turned on beyond restriant, I felt my cunt begin to spasm as orgasm washed over me in wave after wave. I panted and groaned as the spasms subsided and the pump continued to suck at my tit.

I had the insane idea implanted in my head the other day of experiencing an orgasm at the same time as milk letdown. It seems like more pleasure than I could endure at once, but I am more than eager to give it a try.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Suckling

Jay and I had quite the erotic time last night. We began with some light kissing and stroking before he moved down to my breasts just begging for attention. He took my breast into his mouth and began to suck as I had a sharp intake of breath and arched my back towards him. He sucked steadily for a good 10 minutes as I planted small kisses along his forehead murmumering my love for him. Pleasure coursed through my whole body as his mouth remained glued to my nipple.

He came up for air and moved to the other breast. The first breast was leaking tiny drops of colostrum as he tweaked and twisted it while fiercly suckling the 2nd breast. The pleasure was nearly unbearable. It raced along my body as my cunt flowed freely and seemed to develop a pulse of it's own. I used my foot to gently stroke his rock hard cock as he continued to suckle.

When he had suckled a good 20 minutes, he bade me to his pulsing cock. I leaned over and sucked his cock balls deep into my mouth. My hand cradled and massaged his balls as my mouth worked up and down his cock, tongue in motion up and down the shaft and around the head.

When he could stand it no longer, he shoved me to my back, poured oil all over my breasts, and shoved his cock between them as I held them tightly together for him. Watching his cock pump in and out between my breasts was a thing of beauty. Even more sublime was looking up at him, watching the pleasure on his face, and the powerful feeling of being towered over. He stradled me as he fucked my breasts, effectively pinning me to the bed. His thrusts became more urgent as he neared his release. He braced himself on the headboard of the bed, and powerfully thrust between my slick breasts. I began to moan, urging him on, wanting his cum all over me. When he let it go, it shot out all over my face, some straight into my mouth, all over my tits. I moaned as I licked droplets from my face, a large glob slowly rolling down from my tits to my belly.

My but we are having such fun with my breasts lately. My pump is due to arrive on Saturday. I am all atwitter with excitement!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

My Secret Fetish

I have secretly harbored a slightly unusual fetish for some time which I was hesitant to even share with Jay for a while. My secret fetish is a lactation fetish. Let me explain before you decide I am a complete freak!!

I nursed our daughter when she was an infant which was not a sexual thing at all. It was a wonderfully close, loving, bonding experience that I wish every woman could enjoy. There is however a certain sort of physical pleasure that goes along with all the hormones and what is happening in your body as you lactate. Just before one’s milk lets down there is a rush of relaxation and pleasure that courses through your entire body just for a few seconds that I imagine is a lesser version of what it might feel like to take a hit of heroin. A few seconds after that your breasts and nipples begin to tingle strongly as your milk lets down into the milk ducts and begins to flow. Any woman who has ever breast fed her child and tells you she never experienced this is lying because she is ashamed to admit it. Its biology…it’s how our bodies work, but it can also be disturbing because it involves your child so you just push it all to the back of your mind and enjoy the bonding feelings you experience with your new baby. The entire process is controlled largely by the hormone oxytocin which also just happens to be dubbed the “love hormone.” It’s what helps us feel that love and maternal bond as we nurse our newborn child, and part of the way it does this is by bringing us intense feelings of relaxation and yes, even pleasure.

Of course once my daughter outgrew the need to breastfeed I just assumed that phase of my life was over and that was that. However, certain medications I have taken have strangely intermittently caused that exact same “AHHHHH” feeling of pleasure and relaxation followed by the tingling in my breasts of the let down reflex although with no actual milk since my body was not actually lactating. This got me thinking about those feelings again, and the more I thought about them, the more I wanted to experience them again

I eventually shared this with Jay who was hesitant at first as it is a bit odd. However, the more we talked and fantasized about it over the years, the more turned on we each became. We fantasize about him suckling me, milk squirting into his mouth and running down his chin, we fantasize about milk shooting out of my tits as he fucks me. I see it mostly as pleasure and bonding between Jay and I,an avenue that could bring us even closer together;however, it can also very nicely fit into our D/s interests. One of my favorite fantasies of all is being milked like a cow. Tied up, forcefully milked as I moan in pleasure. In the D/s world this is known as “forced lactation” and is generally seen as a means of humiliation. I have always been the type of submissive turned on by certain types of humiliation. Don’t call me a fat ass or a worthless slut unless you want me to emotionally crumple in front of you, but DO lead me around by leash and collar on all fours, have me drink from a doggie bowl, lick the toilet OR be forcefully milked if you want me to be a dripping wet submissive worshipping at your feet.

Today I actually did something about this fantasy. I bought a breast pump!!! I have no idea what happened to the one I used to have when I was nursing so I found a great deal for a small electric breast pump. I feel quite confident that with sufficient pumping 4 or 5 times a day I can lactate again. My body was very good at it before. The hardest part will be the scheduling in of time for such an endeavor, but I am determined to do it.

For the rewards are great…

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Thought for Today

The message on my flip calendar for today:

"The process of personal growth isn't always easy. We must face our own ugliness. We ofen must become painfully aware of the unworkability of a pattern before we're willing to give it up. It often seems, in fact, that our lives get worse rather than better when we begin to work deeply on ourselves."

Gives me comfort that this experience has been traversed by others before me. I finally feel myself hitting my knees and declaring, "I am ready to begin now" rather than just playing at it and the idea that change would be good for me but just not right now due to excuse A.B or C.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Oh What a Lovely Evening We Had

Jay and I had such an erotic, arousing night this evening. Raise your hand if you remember my Hot Englishman! We have been back in touch over the past 2 or 3 months. Jay and I have communicated quite a bit on the subject of what we each want in our "adventurous" sex play. I am now ok with and even excited about being shared. There are very strict parameters set up that I won't bore you with.

We first met the Hot Englishment about 3 years ago. He flew to Atlanta on business a number of times and I was still very uncertain about what I wanted so I regretfully turned this very wonderful man down more than once. He is hoping to come to Atlanta again fairly soon, and this time I won't be turning him down.

We had a rather hot cam session tonight, although technical difficulties did make it less than perfect. Being in the UK and having to compensate for the time difference this sweet or more accurately put horny man actually set an alarm to wake him to meet us at the agreed upon time. How he managed to actually get up from a dead sleep I have no idea...LOL.

Have I mentioned that this man is highly attractive, even more so butt ass naked with his hard cock in his hand. Tonight was the first time we actually spoke with each other. His accent makes me want to melt like butter.

Jay had to leave the room for a few minutes which left Mr. Englishman and I to carry on alone. And carry on we did. I spread my wet pussy for him and inserted one of my favorite dildos while fucking myself vigourously. He stood stroking his cock for me, and I so wanted to lick his chest and abdomen as my eyes feasted on him.

He brought his cock closer to the camera for me as I grew wetter and wetter, fingering my now hard little clit. He told me how he wanted to have me suck his balls and shove my tongue inside his ass. He wanted to lick my clit as Jay fucked me. I told him how I wanted him to fuck me after Jeff had cum inside me. I panted out that then I wanted him to cum in me, and get between my legs and lick all the cum out of me. At this point, I lost all control. "I'm going to cum Mr. Englishman, I'm going to cum" I managed to get out as I came hard on my fingers.

Jay returned soon after this. We all joked about the fact that I was such a slut I had already cum while he was gone. I sucked Jay's cock while Hot Englishman watched trying to demonstrate what I wanted to do for him. Licking his balls, taking his cock to the back of my throat, gagging on it, gently sucking and licking the head.

Jay placed himself between my legs and began to lick my still sensitive clit as my eyes continued to feast on the Hot Englisman's body. I was soon writhing in pleasure. Daddy looked up at me and said "Don't you cum" I mewed my displeasure but held myself back. A few more mimutes of licking and I was on the edge again. "Daddy, please can I come?" "Ask Hot Englishman if you can come." Dammit he wouldn't let me come either!! "Five more seconds" He must have repeated that for a full damn minute until I was finally allowed to explode again.

Jay then had me on my back and inserted his cock in me as I watched Hot Englishman's cock grow even larger as he stroked faster and faster. My hips pumped at Jay as Mr. Englishman pumped his cock into his hand. I grunted out how much I wanted his cock in my mouth right now. He asked if I could get two cocks in my mouth at once. I innocently replied "I don't know, I've never tried it." The thought of it however made me even wetter.

Mr. Englishman urged us on, telling Jay to come in me because he wanted to see it dripping out of my cunt. Jay pumped hard and deep until he exploded inside me.

I spread my pussy for my Hot Englishman to give him a view of my wet cum oozing cunt as he stroked harder and harder. I watched intently. There is NOTHING I love more than to watch a man stroke his cock for me and cum all over his hand. Given of course it is a man I know and like and not just some random strange weirdo wanting a chick to watch him get off. My Hot Englishman did not disappoint. When he was done I had this burning desire to lick his cum covered hand clean.

I very much look forward to further adventures with this man.