Sunday, July 31, 2011

New Jewlery

I had to have my annual mammogram today. The inconvenient part about this is that I had to go down to the tattoo shop where I had my nipples pierced and have them remove my hoops and install plastic "filler" bars before going for the mammogram. Jay offered to remove them for me, however, the way these hoops are set up requires bending the metal hoop just wide enough with a pair of pliers to remove the metal ball in the middle holding everything together. I love my Jay, but in all honesty, I didn't trust him not to slip up and cause me unspeakable pain!!

The good part about this is that after the mammogram, I went back to the shop, purchased these lovely new hoops with glittery, dangly hearts, and had them placed back into my nipple piercing. I feel so sexy this evening with my new adornments!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Another of Life's Embarrassing Moments

I was in a fender bender car accident last Tuesday. Although I managed to keep my cool, I was highly pissed off at the time. One because it caused my daughter to miss the horse riding lesson we were on our way to attend, and because this particular car was brand new to me! I hadn’t even made the first damn payment on it yet when this guy rear ended me as I was yielding to make a right hand turn.

A little over a month ago my piece of crap car finally bit the dust for good. I was hoping and praying it would make it two more years until Jay’s car was paid off, but it wasn’t to be. So Jay and I set off one Saturday about a month ago in search of a car for me with a sinking feeling in the pit of our stomach’s knowing what we could afford at the moment would likely be another piece of crap. Turns out God was listening as I prayed all the way to the first dealership as we happened upon an incredible deal on a used vehicle with rather low mileage that checked out with our mechanic at a price we could live with. While a 2005 model, this is the nicest damn car I have ever owned…leather seats, heated seats, DVD player for my daughter, 3rd row seating, and a whole host of other features too numerous to mention.

I am getting off topic here. The point of my story lies in the fact that I had a slightly sore neck and shoulders after my rear end collision. My daughter was and is perfectly fine thank goodness, and I am perfectly fine now as well. However, at the time, my neck and shoulders were a little sore. After some coaxing and bullying by Jay and one of his best friends, I was convinced to go to the doctor to have it checked out and documented in case it grew worse over the next few days.

Part of this checking out procedure of course involved X- rays. The X -ray technician had me disrobe in a little cubicle and instructed me to remove my earrings. As I was doing this I realized I had the rings in my pierced nipples. I pondered whether or not I needed to tell her, and finally decided that I did. I mean, what if the X- ray was going to rip the rings from my nipples, right?

I sheepishly said to her as I entered the X- ray room, “This is a little embarrassing, but I have my nipples pierced as well.”

She looks at me in a confused manner for a beat and says, “Can you remove them?”

Now feeling even more embarrassed, I reply, “No, I can’t. They are a locked sort of ring that I can’t remove on my own.”

She replies, “All right. It’s ok then.”

I had to make sure I was not in great peril by stating, “I was afraid the X- ray might do something horrible like rip them out,” as I laughed nervously.

She laughed as if I was an idiot and replied, “Oh no, it won’t do anything like that, honey.”

So we continued with the X-rays, and all was going well until she had me lying on the table taking X-rays of my back and exclaimed, “Boy that’s a big belly button ring you have.”

In my worry over the nipple rings I had forgotten all about the navel piercing which is dangly and rather large. I wanted to crawl under the table at this point.

“I’m sorry. I forgot all about that,” I laughed.

“Can you take that off?” she asks.

“Yes, I can,” I reply as I fumble to lift my gown while not letting her see I am not wearing panties and remove the belly ring. At this point, I am starting to hate my husband and his friend for making me come have this done, ha ha!! The only thing that redeemed the trip was the good drugs they prescribed me for the pain!

She then must retake several X-rays as I now understand why they ask you to remove all jewelry when having an X-ray. Not because it will rip the metal from your body as any idiot should know, but because it can block the radiologist’s view of the area of your body they are trying to examine in the X-ray.

I’m having a mammogram in a few days. Would you be surprised if I told you I have already made an appointment at the tattoo shop to have the nipple rings taken out for me and then put back in when I am done?!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

His Wet, Humiliated Sub

When your husband comes out of the bathroom after peeing to tell you he saved some just for you, and you get wet and tingly at the thought of being pissed on, you know you are both a freaky deviant and hopelessly his sub!

This reminds me that I don’t believe I have shared with you, dear reader, the details of the one and only time thus far he has actually peed on me which occurred a few months back.

I was blindfolded and tied down spread eagle on the bed on my stomach. It was a very intense session. I was whacked with the bamboo cane which I HATE over and over again until I legitimately began to cry. The feeling of helplessness is particularly acute when you are restrained and can do very little to escape the blows raining down on your ass.

Next came the Icy Hot on my asshole. Jay has applied the Icy Hot to me several times before sending me off to work in the morning to keep me on his mind all day. It has always resulted in an arousing mixture of pleasure and pain and accomplished the task of keeping him on my mind. This time, however, he meant business! He used much more of it than he ever has before some of which, unfortunately dripped onto my pussy…OUCH!

I took it for as long as I could coupled with more whacks from the cane until I broke. I began to cry and beg and told him he HAD to get it off me right now. He mercifully untied me and led me still blindfolded into the bathroom. He led me to the tub and told me to kneel in it.

I was terribly confused thinking he meant to wash me there in the tub. I knelt there obediently, squirming and moaning and begging him to hurry. He handed me a cold wash cloth and told me to wipe myself which I did. I found some relief this way, but longed to get in the shower and wash thoroughly.

I continued to kneel obediently, still blindfolded, still confused until I felt warm liquid on my chest and arms. At first I thought he was washing me, but the tub was not on. Then I began to sniff the air and blurted out, “Oh my God, are you peeing on me?”

I knelt there both humiliated and deeply aroused as he stood over me and pissed his warm, acrid smelling piss all over my chest and arms and belly. I felt so controlled which translated for me to also highly aroused.

When he was finished, he removed my blindfold and told me to get in the shower and clean myself up.

Afterwards, I went to him, clean and fresh smelling, and he fucked me deep and hard as we both craved.

I can’t wait for him to pee on me again…

Sunday, July 17, 2011


"Come here," he commanded in a throaty, sleep swollen voice.

I scooted my backside up against his frontside. His hands wandered to my breasts. He began to squeeze them before moving to the more delicate work at the nipple.

I had an overwhelming desire to watch his hands work on my breasts. I moved the covers down. His muscular, manly hands on my breast evoked a little cry of lust from me. My cunt responded to the sight immediately with a throbbing insistance. He worked the nipple, rolling it between his fingers, pausing to tug the ring running through my pierced nipple until I was moaning and writhing in ectascy.

He flipped me over on my back so he could work both breasts at the same time. I shoved the covers down around my knees so he could watch as I slipped a hand between my legs and began to masturbate as he continued his adoration of my breasts. My clit stood up erect and sensitive, my flowing juices making the rubbing of it even more delicious. I raised my head from the pillow to watch as he tugged at both nipple rings, my hand reaching for and grasping his hard cock. I stroked him for a few moments until my hand flew to my cunt, fingers shoved up inside it as I continued to masturbate my clit.

I climbed higher and higher until I was gasping, "I want to cum. I am going to cum, Daddy."

He squeezed my breasts hard as I bit into the pillow at the side of my head to stifle my moans of orgasm. When I had grunted and groaned my way through the last throes of pleasure, I pleaded, "I need you to fuck me now."

He spread my legs and rested them on his shoulders just before he entered me. That first entry with its soft little "pop" as the head of his cock pushes it's way through my folds is always the sweetest. I moaned quietly as he pushed his way inside my slippery hole. He rocked gently back and forth inside me, building up the pace.

As he thrust harder and harder inside me he spat out through gritted teeth, "I'm going to tie you up at a construction site and let them cum all over you," just before he emptied himself inside me with his own orgasm.

Oh how I love Sunday morning sex. Makes me glad we decided we were too lazy to get up for church this morning!


Every time I hear this song by Sara Evans I am always reminded of a time in my life that doesn't seem as long ago as it actually was. It takes me back to the seemingly endless parade of days that I "woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain/but I brushed my teeth anyway/I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face." I am instantly transported to all the mornings and afternoons I cried the entire trip back and forth to work because it provided the most privacy for letting myself cry, then tried to fix my face so no one would know I had been crying when I arrived at my destination.

The message of this song, however, is the resiliency of the human heart. It reminds us that with enough time we all can and do get over the pain of heartbreak. Some of us take just weeks or months while others of us, like me, take years. The message I want to convey here is that I am not only just a little bit stronger, but completely done with the grieving and "what if's" of letting go. If you need to hear this message, you know who you are. Believe me when I say it has happened. I hope it brings a smile to your face.

As the song says, "I know my heart will never be the same..." but that doesn't mean it is incapable of healing and moving on. I believe I posted several posts back that I recently told Jay I feel happier than I think I ever have in my life. I honestly don't know exactly why, but I also have no desire to question it.

My life feels full and meaningful again...more meaningful than it ever has. I am more in love with my husband than I have ever been. More in love even than the day I married him. As an added bonus, I feel attractive and sexy again which translates to a wonderful sex life again for Jay and I!

I am filled with energy and enthusiasm both for my job and several volunteer opportunities I have been meaning to pursue for a long time. It seems that life is good after 40 when you finally start to figure out who the hell you are, and discover that she's a pretty cool chick!

Carpe Diem, my friends!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Health Update

For those of you who may be interested, I have a health update for you. I was sent to a gastroenterologist on Thursday with the idea I may need to have an endoscopy procedure. This is a rather unpleasant sounding procedure in which the doctor places a tube with a camera on the end of it down your esophagus into your stomach to look mainly for ulcers and take a small biopsy.

I was greatly relieved to hear from the gastroenterologist that he did not feel I needed that procedure at this time. After going over all my records and tests from the ER and my primary doctor and with the sudden onset of my symptoms, he seemed to be in agreement with the ER doctor that the ibuprofen had caused small ulcerations in the lining of my stomach. He said these ulcers can take 2-4 weeks to heal completely, and he has known a few patients who took several months to get 100% back to normal. The medications I was given by my primary doctor on Monday will aid in my stomach's healing and help control the nausea. He made a follow up phone appointment with me in 3 weeks at which time he said he was confident all my symptoms would be gone.

I only managed to work a day and a half this week. As of today's writing on Saturday I am greatly improved from last week but still definately having some pain, nausea, and fatigue issues. My children and I did some volunteer work this morning at the local animal shelter and I am so exhausted now I will likely be in bed for most of the rest of the day.

I have always known that doctors caution you on the use of ibuprofen and the stomach upset it can cause for some people, but NEVER dreamed it could do this to me. I was taking prescription strength which is 800 mg 3 times a day. Just for comparison, over the counter ibuprofen is only 200 mg/ tablet so it is a significant difference. The funny thing is that I have taken presciption strength before for an ankle injury when I first started running a few years ago, and had no ill effects whatsoever. As much as I hate to say this, perhaps age plays a factor here. It does seem that once you turn 40 your body begins to fall apart...LOL.

I am relieved to know nothing is seriously wrong with me, but impatient to get back to 100% and all my normal activites.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Poor Sick Mimi

I need to whine for a moment so bear with me, dear reader. I have been horribly ill for a week now during mine and Jay's stay at home vacation no less!!

I had been having ear pain for about a week and a half which continued to worsen until it was so unbearable last Wednesday that I finally went to the doctor. My doctor diagnosed me with TMJ which is an inflammation of the jaw joint and surrounding muscles. I was given presciption ibuprofen to take 3 times a day and told to call if it did not improve. After suffering horrible pain the rest of that day and night I called the next morning to ask for something stronger for the pain.

Here comes my rant on HMO's which is our only available insurance choice via Jay's employer. I called their main number, explained my need and was then transferred to a nurse in a call center where I explained my need again. I was told a message would be sent to my doctor and they would contact me. Two hours later when we had had no return call, Jay called. He was connected to the nurse call center yet again and explained his wife was in horrible pain, neither of us had slept for much of the night and I really needed some additional pain relief. Do you know what this nurse had the audacity to say to him?

"I have sent a message to her doctor, Sir. He has 24-48 hours to get back with you."

I was stunned at the callousness of someone in a supposedly caring profession. Jay was FURIOUS! He then asked to be connected to the person in charge of the center. The extremly unhelpful nurse places Jay on hold for close to 5 minutes then returns to say she is connecting him and proceeds to connect him to a fucking voice mail! At this point, Jay is about to explode with anger.

He calls back explains the whole damn problem again and tells the nurse on the other end that he will NOT be connected to a voice mail, he MUST speak with a person. After a good 30 minutes on the phone we FINALLY get my doctor. I explain to him my pain and he gives me a prescription for Lortab and advises me to continue with the ibuprofen as well for the inflammation. By Friday my ear pain was all but resolved, but my health saga does not end there. I now had an even more serious problem which has still not resolved itself.

I awoke in the middle of the night last Thursday with horrible stomach pain. The pain continued nearly non stop until I was in tears and finally had Jay take me to the ER about 11:30 Friday evening. They thankfully gave me IV pain and anti-nausea medication which brought me relief at the time. They did blood tests and ruled out their most serious concern of a problem with my pancreas. The doctor seemed to feel I was suffering gastritis due to the ibuprofen the last couple of days. I was sent home with a presciption for Prevacid and instuctions to take the Lortab for continuing pain and follow up with my doctor if the pain continues.

This was Friday night. After a weekend of suffering and increasing nausea so severe I could not sit up for more than 15-30 minutes at a time, Jay took me back to the doctor on Monday. I was sent for an ultrasound where they ruled out any problems with my gall bladder, pancreas or liver.

My doctor now believes I have a peptic ulcer. I was given 3 different medications and told to call again Thursday to report how I am feeling and the next steps to be taken. The medication has thankfully greatly relieved my nausea and my stomach pain has somewhat improved, but I am still quite miserable and very easily fatigued.

After being on vacation last week (which pretty much sucked since I have been sick since Wednesday) I really needed to get back to work, but have been unable to return. I plan to return tomorrow, but don't expect to make it more than half the day especially since I cannot take the pain medication while at work.

The one and only upside to all of this is that I have lost 5 pounds since last week...LOL. I can't recall ever being so sick that I have lost my appetite for any period of time. It is a very strange phenomenon for me, but damn I ought to get a little something out of this suffering! I have not been able to exercise for over a week which is driving me nuts, so I guess it is a good thing I have lost my appetite!

So there it whining session. If you have read all the way to the bottom, thank you, dear reader. I will NEVER again take my health for granted and long to return to my normal life.

Friday, July 8, 2011

A New, Submissive Me

It has been some time since my last post...I apologize for that. Life seems to have a way of getting in the way of blogging. I suppose I did leave everyone hanging a bit with my last post. The much anticipated meeting with our new Mentor never happened due to unforseen developments in his personal life. He did teach us much and advance us further down our D/s path, however without me ever having met him in person at all. For that I thank you Sir. I have continued to make some great strides lately in my quest to submit to Jay.

I really cannot explain it, but something seems to have just fundamentally shifted in me as a person and as a submissive of late...all for the better. Overall, I find myself feeling much more self confident than normal, most especially at work but in my personal life as well. I am much more willing to engage with others socially, and just much happier in general. I told Jay the other day that I feel happier lately than I think I ever have in my life, yet the old pessimist in me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop as if this can't possibly last forever. I really cannot point to anything in particular responsible for this change as I have been doing nothing at all different in my life.

On the D/s side of things, I feel much more sexual in general with a greatly increased libido. More than that, I truely see Jay as my Master now. I respect him and wish nothing more than to please him with my submission. This new vision culminated in a most pleasing and erotic visit to a local dungeon last Saturday.

Upon entering the place, Master sat on a sofa and directed me to sit on the floor at his feet. He had me retrieve my collar from his bag and present it to him to fasten around my neck. After some time just sitting, he led me around the place by my leash observing and investigating the various pieces of furniture and play things that were there.

After a little more sitting at Master's feet hoping the folks using the St. Andrew's cross would soon be finished with it which they were not...ha, ha....Master had me remove my dress and kneel before him in position 3. He chose to place me on my knees in a stocks like device. He then rubbed my back and bottom with a soft piece of rabbit fur until I felt like purring. From there the crop was brought out and used to smack and warm my ass up. Master then moved on to the flogger as I moaned with his attentions. As the stocks had me in a quite uncomfortable physical position, Master eventually freed me, and chained me face down by the wrists in a standing position to another piece of furniture which I find difficult to describe. It was padded, and shaped rather like a honeycomb of sorts, and curved such that I could recline against it.

Here Master again took out the flogger and began to flog my backside in earnest. I could hear him chatting with a couple who had been watching us. When the flogger was put away, I heard the man ask Master, "Is that bamboo?" at which I began to whimper. I HATE the bamboo cane. It hurts, hurts, hurts. Master rubbed it gently against my backside as I whimpered softly. He began to lighly flick me with it as I tried not to wiggle about too much, already anticipating the sting I knew was coming. Master toyed with me for a bit with light little strokes before unleashing one stinging blow which caused me to cry out.

With that, he put the bamboo cane away, unchained me, offered me some much needed water, as it was very hot in the dungeon and I was coated in a sheen of sweat. When I was suffuciently rested, he shackled me to the device again, face up this time. He then brought out the crop again and began to smack my breasts with it. After some time of this, he retrieved the clothes pins from his bag and began to affix them to my breasts. He allowed a male member of the group that had assembled to watch to caress me as he did this. When the clothes pins were affixed to his liking to my breasts, he ordered me to spread my legs father apart and began to affix them to my labia. I moaned with the sensation, flying high on endorphins already.

Master then began to lightly strike me with the crop, warming me up for the blows that would smack the clothes pins off my breasts. His assistant continued to caress me all over. I felt the male member of the couple who had been watching all night slide his finger into my hand. He had told us earlier as he watched my flogging he had wanted to grip my hand to see how hard I would squeeze and thereby judge the pain I was experiencing. When Master felt I was good and ready he began to smack clothes pins off my breasts one by one. I groaned and cried out with the pain and pleasure, my head tossing to and fro. When all the clothes pins had been smacked off, Master lovingly rubbed me down with the soft rabbit fur. The sensation was exquisite.

He then moved to the clothes pins on my pussy, running his hands over them and batting at them a bit. I hoped and trusted Master would not be so sadistic as to smack those off with the flogger as well, but was preparing myself for whatever he decided his pleasure would be. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard him tell the couple, "I would not be so sadistic as to smack these off." He began to gently remove them one by one. I cried out with the sharp sensation of pain as blood began to flow back into my labia.

Other pleasures occured during the evening. I was eventually bound by wrists and ankles to the St. Andrew's cross and given another good flogging. Master brought out the large wooden paddle which I also greatly hate! It was given to him as a gift by Mistress Faye's husband some time ago. He lightly rubbed it against my ass teasing me while eventually only giving me a light blow with it. Through the course of the evening, I had the flogger, crop, paddle and whip used on my backside leaving some rather lovely although not terribly numerous marks on my backside...we planned to go to the pool the next day and Master was making a careful attempt not to mark me in areas that would show outside my bikini bottom!

The evening culminated in Master leading me on all fours to the dog cage there. He had me crawl in, still naked. He leaned over and told me to begin to masturbate. I wanted to resist, I wanted to say no, but I wanted even more than that to submit and please my Master. So I reached a hand between my legs and began to masturbate as a roomful of people alternately watched and continued their own conversations. It was humiliating, and I was soaking wet! When this had gone on for some time, Master unlocked the cage and led me out on all fours. He whispered to me that he had a treat for me.

He had me crawl over to a very attractive, and completely naked girl who had been making pointed eye contact with me while I was in the cage. Master then directed me to provide her oral pleasure until she came.

I began to kiss her, tasting her warm wet tongue. I moved down to her breasts, young and firm and a little smaller than my own. I sucked them into my mouth, biting gently at the nipple. After some time spent with her beautiful breasts, I licked and kissed my way down her tummy to her smooth shaven mound. I parted her lips and began to suck her clit. At that same time, her Master grabbed her by the neck and began to squeeze at which she cried out loudly. I hesitated, thinking I had done something to hurt her or something otherwise altogether wrong until I caught the look of ectascy on her face. Her Master laid her back against the bed on which she sat and continued to apply pressure to her throat as I eagerly licked her clit and slid a finger inside her sloppy wet pussy.

I must admit I felt a bit inept and unsure of myself. I have the same equipment, you would think it would be a no brainer that I would know what to do to pleasure her. Still I was entirely unsure I was doing it correctly. When I expressed this to Jay later in the evening he jokingly asked if he was going to have to teach me how to eat pussy, ha, ha! Her clit seemed rather small much like my own. I licked and sucked while fucking her with my finger until she writhed and moaned about and seemed to be genuinely pleasured.

This scene was pretty much the close of our evening. Jay and I soon left after this. Reading this account back now, it sounds like some sort of letter to Penthouse, entirely made up and out of the realm of the possible, yet I assure you it all was indeed very real. I feel that a new world has been opened to Jay and I with a simple change in my own mindset that seemed to have simply come of its own accord with little conncious thought or decision on my part. Our sex these last few weeks has been AMAZING. I dont recall it ever being better in the 13 years we have been together. I feel closer and more in love with him than ever. Life is very good right now.