Thursday, October 28, 2010


Last week was a difficult yet enlightening one for me. Circumstances forced me to get honest with myself and let go of a long cherished fantasy. I don't care to share what that fantasy was except to say it was one that brought a great deal of joy and pleasure to my life and another until it became unhealthy.

The funny thing is, I believed I had let go of this fantasy some time ago only to be hit in the gut with the realization that I hadn't loosened my grip on it nearly as much as I wanted to believe. I was confronted with the stark realization that I had lived for years and was still living with the hope of making my fantasy work without injury to myself or others. I did a good job of convincing myself that I could control myself, but this relationship was not like the others that I could take or leave. It never would be because my heart was wrapped up in it and it always would be no matter how hard I tried to tell myself otherwise.

The realization was quite a shock to me. I had done a marvelous job of lying to myself with the noble intent of soothing what hurt while all along nurturing the hope that still nested in my heart.

The result of all this is a swirl of feelings and emotions. I find myself grieving the loss of something dear to me all over again. I found myself unable to control tears I had not shed for this fantasy for years as it disintegrated before me once and for all.

While at the same time experiencing a great sense of relief that I could finally free myself and another from this desire that did not serve. I felt a sense of gratitude that I was finally forced to be brutally honest with myself about this secret hope that still lived in my heart and the fact that it simply could not be.

I would like to say I am at peace with this loss now, but I am not there yet. What I feel is a certain sense of emptiness. What I feel is fear for how I will replace something that had occupied a large space in my heart for many years. While enjoying a sense of release with letting this fantasy go, I also feel a great deal of sadness to see it die. Although a source of great pain when I allowed it to swirl out of control, it was also a source of great happiness and intense desire in my life. How do you replace something like that?

I have an overwhelming sense,however that this is a new beginning for me. Holding onto the hope of this fantasy whether I was concious of doing so or not, kept me stuck in the same place in my life as I waited for the past to be reborn. As for the empty space I spoke of, I am fully aware now that I have tried to fill this space not only with this particular fantasy, but with a vast array of people, things, and habits (some healthy, some decidely unhealthy) none of which ever completely did the trick simply because they were never meant for that purpose. I recognize now that no person(not even Jay or my children) or thing or habit is ever going to be big enough to fill it. A truth I have only recently come to accept as fact. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that only something much Bigger offers what I seek to fill that space.

While wistful at letting go of the past, I also look forward to a new beginning with a deeper understanding of who I am and where I've been. I feel grateful to have been loved so well in my life both past and present by romantic partners, friends and family. I am content to understand that just because someone cannot offer their love to you in the form you would most desire, doesn't make it any less real for you or for them.

I can find peace in acceptance that I don't always know what's best for myself, my desires are sometimes not ones which would serve me most. If I will get out of the way, and allow it, there is a Force greater than myself that does know how to find my greater good and will lead me to it. I am grateful to all those He places along my path (some of them read this blog and know who they are) to help me find my way there.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Sensual Product Review: Massagewicks Candles

I have another wonderful product to review for you, dear reader. A product that can be used as a prelude/foreplay to hot sex, as a way to continue the intimacy after a hot session of sex, or just a way to express your love for that special someone. A massage candle from Massagewicks.

These candles are made using using a specially formulated blend of soy wax, apricot oil, cocoa and shea butters, all wrapped around a natural cotton wick. They are offered in a variety of lucious scents, or can be fragrance free if you prefer.

Simply light the wick, and allow the candle to burn for about 20 minutes until you have a nice pool of oil. Blow out the candle, and dip it out with your fingers, or as I prefer, have your partner drizzle it onto the desired area of your body for massage. Soy candles burn only at a slightly higher temperature than body temperature, and thus will never burn but instead provide a sensual warm sensation when applied to the skin. The burn time for the candle should be approximately 30 hours, but will vary based on how you use it. The number of massages will vary as well depending on use as well as how much oil you use for each session.

Jay has a eucalyptus scented candle I plan to use for my next weekend of worshipping Master. I think my Master will find great pleasure in the soft light of the candle filling the bathroom as I bath him, followed by a massage with his favorite scent.

Jay and I had the opportunity to use one of these wonderful candles Friday evening and it was a throughly satisfying experience. We chose option B mentioned above (a way to continue the intimacy after a hot session of sex!) allowing the candle to burn and fill the room with it's scent as we enjoyed each other's bodies. The scent I chose was patchouli amber which has a musky, sexy sort of scent I love. I can't wait to try out some of my other favorite scents like coconut lime and warm sugar vanilla...mmmmm.

Jay blew the candle out when we were ready to use it and drizzled the oil all along my back. The sensation was divine as the warm oil hit my skin just before he began to massage my back and buttocks as he rubbed it in. The scent lingered on my skin and the sheets all night which was an added bonus.

There are three things that I love about these candles that are different from what I have found with other massage candles we have used in the past...

The thing I love the most is that the candle retains a soft, lotiony sort of texture long after it has cooled. This means I can scoop some up anytime I wish and massage it into my hands or anywhere I desire to moisturize and enjoy the scent I have chosen.

The second thing I love about these candles is that they soak directly into my skin and don't leave me with an oily or waxy feeling after use that I feel the need to rinse off my skin afterwards.

The third thing I love about these candles is the price. Most of the candles we have used in the past have been $20 or more. These awesome candles are only $10 a pop.

I have already begun to suggest more scents to Jay that I expect to find in my Christmas stocking!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Weekend of Pleasure

I regret to inform you, dear reader, that Jay and I did not make it to our Halloween fetish party this weekend. Forces conspired against us (including our daughter coming home from school with a fever on Friday) that forced us to make the decision that the outing just was not going to work for this weekend. Never fear, however, there is yet another one being held next Saturday that will be just as much of a kinky good time.

With the decision not to go out Saturday night, we found ourselves with very little obligations for the weekend which is highly unusual for us. Our daughter was perfectly fine by Saturday morning (a bit of a reaction to her recent flu shot, I believe), and spent most of the day across the street with one of her best little friends for her birthday party. Our son went off all day with one of his buddies, so we pretty much had the house to ourselves most of the day. This all equaled LOTS of sex for the weekend.

Both before and after the obligatory appearance at the birthday party across the street we found the occasion to have sex. However, the third time we had sex on Saturday night was by far the best.

I was turned on all afternoon smelling Jay's cum between my legs from our two previous sessions. So much so that at one point I came up behind him as he made dinner in the kitchen and said, "I can smell you between my legs and it is making me so horny!"

Later that evening after our daughter was tucked into bed where she fell immediately to sleep after a long day of birthday partying, and our son was spending the night with his best friend, we found ourselves alone together in bed watching TV. The TV found it's way to porn and Jay's hands found their way to my nipples which were newly adorned with hoops in place of the barbell piercings.

Jay began to tug my nipples by the hoops while his tongue probed my mouth deliciously. I writhed and moaned as we both watched him tugging at my nipples harder and harder. I eventually called for my vibrating bullet which I applied to my hard clit as I directed Jay's finger inside me. He inserted another finger into my asshole and fucked both holes as my bullet buzzed away on my clit until I spat out between clinched teeth..."Here it comes. I'm cumming, I'm cumming..." as my cunt clenched on his finger.

I was then directed down to his cock where I took in the scent of the previous fucking that day before swallowing his hard cock. My ass was in the air taking a nice playful spanking as my head worked up and down his cock. I eventually placed myself flat on the bed in front of him and began to suck his cock with a purpose. My cunt ached to feel him inside me again, but I was content to allow him to cum in my mouth.

I was such a happy slut when he motioned me towards him, shoved me back across the bed and sank his cock in me. My little cunt felt sore and a little tight from the 3 other fuck sessions she had received in the last 24 hours (once Friday night, and twice earlier in the day) which produced the most delicious mixture of pleasure and pain as he fucked me. I wanted his cock more than I can put into words. It was an animal, visceral sort of wanting.

He leaned over me to pump slowly into me as I reached up to feel the hard muscles of his arms, wrapping my legs around his hips and digging the heels of my feet into his ass. I opened my eyes to alternately watch his face and my breasts bouncing underneath his thursts, silver hoops shining from my nipples.

He raised upright once again and began to pound into me with all his might, porn running in the background which we both snuck a glance at from time to time. I gripped the sheets with my hands, my hips thrusting back at him for dear life as he hit just the right spot inside my throbbing little pussy. I opened my eyes just in time to watch his face as he emptied himself inside me.

Today saw one more session of sex as our daughter went back over to play with her friend and our son studied in his room. Jay swatted my ass with a new little feather duster we found with serves as a small, stinging sort of cane on one end and a soft, soothing bunch of feathers on the other end.

He slowly built the intensity of the swats until I had my face shoved into the mattress to muffle my cries.

"Oh Sir, Oh Sir, Oh Sir," I cried.

He pressed me down into the mattress by the small of the back, my ass raised high for him and hissed, "Quiet. Stop making noise."

He beat me with this tiny, make shift little cane until the emotion came bubbling up out of me and I was on the verge of tears. He sliced the toy through the air just above me such that I could hear the whipping sort of sound it made as it passed through the air. I nearly lost it waiting for the blows to connect with my ass that never came.

I then felt the new toy on the soles of my feet and immediately began to plead, "Please, please, no..." remembering the pain HeadMaster had dealt to the soles of my feet during our one session together.

Again, Master was fucking with my head as no blows ever came to my feet.

At this point our daughter returned from across the street!! Jay went out to direct her to watch a little TV until he came down. He returned to me at which point we got right down to business in the interest of time...ha, ha.

That wonderful man fucked me a fifth and final time for the weekend and all felt right with the world.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Master's Reply to His Slave

My Jay responded to the email I sent a few days ago with one of his own. After reading it, I felt like such a fortunate pet and wife. I cannot express the love and gratitude I feel to have a husband willing to travel down this path with me.

My Lovely Slave...

Yes, you have taken entirely too long to send your list.

Being the masochist I know you are, I know you have painful desires and needs it is my duty to fulfill. For the time being I will use this list as a basis to provide you pleasure through humiliation and pain. But understand I will command another list in the near future.

Moving forward, as my slave I will address you as Mimi to indicate my intention of directing you as my submissive slave, and not my wife.

To be a pet is a great task, and takes a great deal of humility to submit and serve as such. I trust you are up to the task. This weekend, we will look for your accoutrements so you can be my good slave-pet.

We will also plan a weekend of servitude for you. This servitude will include servicing me at will, and tasks for my pleasure.

I see you wish a new leash. The one you have is perfectly fine, but I would be interested in what a slut such as yourself might want. Possibly something that has studs on it to add to your pain as you are slapped with your leash or maybe a chain with a choker...we will certainly see what would suit your deviant desires.

As part of being an obedient submissive, you must trust your Master, and do as commanded. As your Master I would never intentionally put you in any danger or dangerous situations. My respect for you is great and I would not do anything that was personally or deeply humiliating as I know you better than anyone. To do anything that was truly disrespectful would be egregious and would make me unworthy to be your Dominant. Never forget that I love and cherish you as my wife first and foremost.

I do not think a third person is a good idea for our relationship, but your servicing others at my pleasure is another matter. I do know you enjoy many things and activities...things and activities you feel like you should not enjoy,yet you do. As your Dominant, it is my responsibility to not only provide pleasure and punishment, but to expand our limits together.

I am glad you want to only serve me sexually, actually more than glad, it shows me that you desire and only adore me, which makes me confident our roles are in the place we have been working towards.

Therefore regarding your final request, I agree we should not include a third party Dom in our relationship, and I do not think a third party sub would be good for us either. However, I do find that it is necessary for you to be able to service others as I direct. We have discussed that we both know you enjoy servicing others, but you tend to think negatively of yourself after the experiences. What I will promise you is, I will not frequently ask this of you, but I will command you to service others at my discretion for my pleasure. You will do as I command and not disappoint but enjoy it as I know you do.

What I desire from you is for you to be an obedient slave, to be a loving slave, for you to allow me to take you to the dark places you desire, and I do encourage you to tell me your desires so I can continue to take you to those places your heart longs for. Through this I will earn your respect and continue to explore this world together.

Your Loving Master.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Learning to Walk

Jay and I are eagerly anticipating a fetish Halloween party we are attending on Saturday. I have a hot new dress and stiletto heels courtesy of Mistress Faye. The story goes like this...Jay had ordered this outfit for me with my full cooperation only to receive an email nearly TWO weeks after ordering it telling us the dress had been discontinued and they only had size small in stock. Since this slut is most definately not a size small, we were back to square one with only a couple of weeks until our big night. Mistress Faye kindly offered me a smoking hot dress of hers along with the perfect shoes to accessorize.

The thing about these shoes is that they are 5" stiletto heels. I have never worn stilettos before and found myself hobbling around in them when I first tried them on. For those of you who have never worn them, imagine walking on stilts on your tiptoes and you'll have a good picture of what it feels like to attempt to walk in these shoes. It was decided that I was to walk about the bedroom each evening naked for Jay while learning to walk properly in these shoes. Last night we snapped a few pictures of them because they are just too damn hot to wait until the weekend to share with you...

We moved on to the bed and took a few slightly more revealing photos...

As the camera clicked away, I grew more and more aroused...

This led to Jay eventually putting the camera down and inserting his finger inside me. I had my handy dandy vibrating bullet pressed against my clit as he finger fucked me. It buzzed away harder and harder on my clit as his finger slid in and out of me until I was calling out, "Mmmmm, Daddy, Daddy..." as I came so hard my vagina was sore afterwards.

As I was coming down, Jay slipped into the toy bag and brought out the NJoy anal plug. He carefully lubed me up and inserted it into my ass before sliding his cock inside me. He pumped a couple of times before pining my arms down with his as he continued to pump steadily inside me. I wrapped my legs around him and dug the stilettos into his ass as the weight of his body bore down on my wrists pinned to the bed causing a delicious build up of pressure as I struggled against him. I pumped my hips up to meet his as our fucking became increasingly frenzied. I watched his face and listened to his sounds of release as he came inside me.

I can't wait to "practice" learning to walk in my new heels again tonight!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Letter to Master

This letter was waiting for Jay in his email's inbox this morning...

Dearest Master,

I know I was tasked by Mistress Faye to send you a list of activities I would enjoy as your submissive some time ago. I have been a lazy slut in taking 3 weeks to get this list to you. I apologize deeply for this Sir, and submit to any correction you deem fit to prevent such behavior in the future.

I have given much thought to this task Sir. What I desire most is to be pleasing to you. Any guidance you are willing to provide is much appreciated by this submissive, Sir.

One of my deepest desires is to be your pet, Sir. To this end, these are things I would take great pleasure in while serving as your sub Sir:

- I would enjoy a pet pillow designated just for me...soft and plush in texture...hopefully presented as a gift to your pet

- I would enjoy an evening of being directed to remain on this pet pillow ready to serve you at all times. I may even enjoy being made to sleep on this pillow.

- I would enjoy being made to take my meal at your feet (I might also enjoy being made to eat this meal from my own designated food and water bowls). You may decide whether or not I merit utensils for my meal Sir

- I would enjoy being made to simply sit at your feet as you watch TV or go about your normal activities, pausing to stroke my head and offer praise or correction whenever the mood strikes you

- I would enjoy a weekend of being directed to suck your cock whenever you so desire with the further requirement that I must ask at least every 2 hours if you require your cock sucked. I would fully expect to receive punishment should I fail to adhere to this schedule.

-You already know that I adore being led around on all fours by my collar and leash Sir. Perhaps if I am a good girl I might merit a new and different leash from time to time.

-Should the opportunity present itself to find one economically...I would SO love my own dog kennel/cage to be locked up in at your discretion Sir.

- I would enjoy being required to dispense my own punishment from time to time...I swoon at the thought of slapping my breasts with a ruler or slapping off my own clothespins.

I hope you find several or all the items on the list pleasing and appealing to you Sir as my purpose is to serve you.

This sub would make one humble request of you Sir. That request being that we reach an agreement to no longer seek out or invite 3rd parties into our bedroom. It is my desire to serve only you in a sexual manner Master. Should Master desire to see me flogged, spanked, paddled or otherwise disciplined at a party or between friends, I would greatly enjoy serving in this manner, but would respectfully request that sexual service be reserved only for you Master. I realize I am but your lowly submissive who has no control over what service you may require of me, and will do my best to submit to whatever pleases my Master most.

Your Loving Slave,


Monday, October 18, 2010

Toy Review: The Nea by Lelo

I am long overdue in giving you and my dear friend Shelly at Shelly’s Toy Box a review of my latest toy…the Nea by Lelo. If you recall I promised a review of the toy here when recounting our latest fetish party adventure.

Let’s start with the basics…the Nea is a perfectly sized clitoral massager. She comes elegantly packaged in a black box containing the Nea herself, a charger, user manual, one year warranty and a satin pouch for storage. The Nea herself comes in a glossy, porcelain- like finish with your color choice of white, black or pink with a feminine floral design on her backside. One of the features I love about the Lelo products is that they are rechargeable eliminating the need for packs and packs of batteries to keep the fun going. The time required for a full charge is 2 hours with a user time of about 7 hours once fully charged. The LED light will prompt you to charge when the battery is running low by emitting a red sheen when the toy’s buttons are pushed.

The Nea offers 5 stimulation modes…one continuous vibe mode and 4 pulse modes that range from intense to soft, long to short intervals. The user manual provides detailed instructions on how to scroll through the different modes of stimulation.

Now for the good part…what’s it like to play with the Nea? In one word…orgasmic! I love, love, love this toy! I love her for several reasons. The first and most important reason is the sensations she produces on both my clit and vulva. The Nea is shaped such that I can provide stimulation to my clit, while at the same time experiencing pleasant vibration along my lips which makes for quite a wonderful combination of sensations.

I love the way the Nea fits right into my hand and can be easily maneuvered for clit only stimulation or pressed against my clit and lips for dual stimulation. I myself prefer the continuous vibe mode, but probably need to spend more time experimenting with the various pulse modes. I am a girl who likes intense stimulation, and am often not patient enough for the build up of the pulse mode.

The second thing I appreciate about the Nea is the girly design. I love the floral design on the back and the pink color choice I made, although I find the white one quite attractive as well. It’s just more fun to play with a toy that looks so cute!

The third thing I really enjoy about the Nea is her size, and extremely quiet vibrations. The size makes her perfect to slip into a purse or even yours or your partner’s pocket when going out. She is quiet enough to allow for discrete public play if that sort of thing gets your juices flowing!

The only drawback I found at all in the toy was trying to figure out how to scroll through the various pulse modes and then return to the continuous vibe mode, but that probably has more to do with me and my lack of common sense than the toy itself…ha, ha!

Overall, I would highly recommend my little friend the Nea. If you are searching for something small and discrete, yet powerful enough to get the job done right, the Nea is your girl. I give her 10 Big O’s.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Master's Topless Slut

Master had a task for me on my drive home yesterday. A fairly simple one, but really not so simple. Master's directions were that I hike up my dress revealing my garter and stockings, remove my bra and lower the top of my dress leaving me topless from the waist up. I was to drive all the way home in this manner (I was allowed to pull over and pull the dress up before entering our neighborhood), and provide him with pictures both as proof of my obedience, and for his gratification.

I had been given this same order a few weeks ago, and only half-ass complied. I did take off my shirt and bra, and I did drive part of the way topless, snapping a few pics, but less than half way through the drive I put them back on without informing Jay. My mindset has changed since then. While I did NOT want to do this task yesterday, I DID want to please my Master. I reminded myself throughout that this would please him, and felt a rush of pleasure in that.

I snapped a few pics as best I could at red lights and sent them off to him. I was rewarded with replies telling me what a beautiful slave I was.

I began to become a little more comfortable with my toplesseness, sitting up straight, knowing how pleased Master would be if someone witnessed my nakedness. I began to notice the warmth of the sun on my breasts which was arousing.

I must admit however, as I moved into more closely packed traffic, try as I might, I could not prevent myself from drawing my arms inward to shield my breasts. I felt so very exposed and unprotected without Master there with me in the car. I did not however, pull my dress down over my garter, put my bra back on, or pull my dress back up over my breasts until the designated spot Master had given me for doing so. Of this I was very proud and happy to have served Master's exihibionist pleasure.

As I know you, dear reader, would enjoy indulging in a little voyeurism of your own, here are the pics I took for Master:

Monday, October 4, 2010

May We Begin Now?

Jay and I have taken a step back from out headlong plunge into D/s play. We have been re-grouping and rethinking, listening and talking to each other this past week. This re-grouping we have each separately and collectively decided calls for no outside play partners as Jay and I learn and grow in the lifestyle.

We recently had the very good fortune to meet another married couple much more experienced in the lifestyle than us. We met them indirectly through my blog post describing our August fetish party visit as Mon Cherie, who throws the parties, posted a link to the post via her Facebook page. We had the privilege of meeting in person at last month’s party, but really did not get to spend a large amount of time chatting as they were vendors at the event.

My new friend whom I shall call Mistress Faye took pity on me when reading last week’s post. She sent an e-mailed reply and has since taken on a mentoring/teaching type of role for Jay and me.

We are both feeling much better about our path after exchanging some very honest communication both verbally and via letters we each wrote this weekend expressing what we wanted to give and receive from each other via a D/s relationship as well as what our expectations were.

The light bulb moment came for me when realizing in the course of a conversation with Mistress Faye that I had been expecting Jay to simply “know” what to do and say in his dominant role to bring me to that “quivering puddle” state of submission when he was as much of a novice as I was. I didn’t even really give him many hints about what I desired, expecting that as a dominant he should just “know.” I was then disappointed when he didn’t just “know” what to do and assumed I would have to get those needs met in a 2nd dominant.

Until recently our D/s play had been confined to our own bedroom over the past 5 years with a few books for instruction, but no real contact and conversations with real live people experienced in the lifestyle. It seems comical and unfair to me now that I just expected Jay to have it all figured out because he was “naturally dominant.” As my new friend Mistress Faye pointed out, “Was the dominance fairy supposed to just come to him in a dream?”

I am also now able to articulate that much of what I felt was lacking in Jay’s dominance was the psychological aspect. He is quite good at the physical administration of discipline (although there is still much to learn regarding the use of various toys), but I long for that “mind fuck” that also goes along with a D/s relationship.

So we are back to square one, both admitting we have much to learn, both agreeing we want to learn, and grateful our new friends seem willing to offer their help and experience with no hint of any hidden agendas. Although I do need to note that Mistress Faye has very large, full breasts and we all know how I LOVE big boobs, ha, ha!!

This weekend my task from Mistress Faye was simply to adore Jay. I was to find ways to offer to serve him and ask for permission to do so. Fortunately, after some fall clothes shopping for our daughter Saturday morning, the rest of the day was rather open for us.

My Jay had been complaining of foot pain for several days which was made worse by 2.5hours of shopping that morning. I saw an opportunity to serve him and I seized it. I asked if I might massage his foot for him to which he readily assented. He went on to wonder as I rubbed his foot if I still had my foot spa in which he might soak his foot. Without being asked or told to do so, I went upstairs, retrieved the foot spa from our closet and set it up for him as he prepared himself some lunch.

When he had finished lunch, he sat in a chair in front of the spa I had prepared for him. Before beginning, I knelt in front of him, laid my head on his large chest and told him I respected him and wanted to grow in my respect for him even more. I asked Daddy to please allow us to begin again down this path of a D/s relationship.

I was first told I was to address him now as Master rather than Daddy, that only on special occasions would he allow me to address him as Daddy. He then asked if I was willing to obey and submit to him fully as my Master to which I replied whole heartedly that I was. He then gave his permission to engage in our path of D/s once again.

After this, I gently lifted each foot into the warm foot bath I had prepared for him and turned the massaging jets on. After allowing him to soak for a while, I asked if he was ready for his massage. I had obtained lotion the previous evening with a eucalyptus scent I knew he found pleasing in preparation for another service I planned for him that evening. I carefully lifted each foot from the foot bath and dried them off. I then began to massage his feet and legs with the refreshing scented lotion.

I felt a slight throbbing being between my legs as I knelt there serving him. I would have liked to have done it naked, but our son was upstairs in his room and our daughter was off playing with friends, likely to burst in the house at any time. His moans and groans of pleasure were enough to let me know my service was pleasing to him. When the massage was complete I asked for permission to kiss his feet. When granted permission, I leaned over and kissed the top of each foot feeling wholly submissive and worshipful.

That night after our son had gone to spend the night with a friend and our daughter was tucked into bed with all the dogs, I asked Master if I might bathe him. He replied that I could. I had cleaned the tub thoroughly earlier in the day in hopes that he would allow me to service him in this way. I scurried into the bathroom and began to draw the bath water. I then lit some scented candles about the bedroom, removed my gown and waited at the bedroom door for him, naked.

He soon appeared and ordered me to finish the remainder of the bath preparations(gathering his towel and wash cloth, soap and shampoo) on my hands and knees. When the bath was drawn, I crawled to him in the bedroom, knelt before him, unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his shorts, let them fall to the floor, and held them as he stepped out of them. I folded his shorts neatly before asking permission to stand and remove his shirt for him. When this too was folded neatly over his shorts, I crawled on hands and knees to the bathroom as he followed.

When he settled into the tub, I gently poured hot water over his chest and belly. I asked if he was ready for me to wash his hair now. When he indicated I could begin, I tipped his head back and gently poured warm water over his hair. I then lathered and massaged his scalp, moving down to his shoulders for a short massage before tipping his head back and carefully rinsing the shampoo out.

I then moved on to lather the wash cloth and began bathing his body. He reached out to play with my breasts and pierced nipples as I bathed his arms, chest and belly. He then stood in the tub as I remained kneeling beside it to wash his back, buttocks and legs. I gently washed his scrotum and penis, being careful not to linger unnecessarily lest I be perceived to be taking liberties I had not been given permission to take. I then lovingly poured the warm water over his body to rinse him. Finally, I massaged his feet as I lathered and washed them clean. When this was done, I waited at the side of the tub for further instruction or indication that he was ready to leave the tub.

I was told to massage his cock now. I had been eager to do this almost from the moment I began to touch him in the tub. My hand slid under the water, gripped his penis and began to massage. When he had had enough stimulation, he rose indicating he was ready to get out of the tub. I opened the drain, and held his towel out for him to step into before carefully drying his body.

I then crawled into the bedroom and bade him to lie down on the bed for a massage, asking permission to join him on the bed as I knelt beside it. I then crawled onto the bed to straddle his back as I warmed the eucalyptus scented lotion in my hands and began to massage his back and shoulders. I did this diligently for some time as he moaned his pleasure under my hands. I then moved further down to his buttocks and legs. I enjoyed the hard muscular feel of his legs underneath my hands and felt my arousal begin to build.

When I had massaged each leg, I asked him to turn over so that I might massage the front of his body. I massaged his arms, hands and chest before eventually working my way down to those muscular legs again. I spread my legs, taking his leg such that his foot rested against my breasts and belly as I massaged, longing to guide his toes to my throbbing clit, but restraining myself as I remembered my place in serving him.

When the massage was complete, I was ordered to suck his cock which I hopped to eagerly and greedily. I sucked and worshipped his cock, enjoying the sensation of it growing in my mouth until I was told to bend over the bed.

Maser then began soft spanking of my ass coupled with his fingers on my clit. He would build my pleasure while slapping my ass, and then back off. He eventually retrieved a paddle and something else from the sex toy bag. I began to pant and whimper as I got a glance at the paddle, anticipating what was to come.

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” he observed mockingly.

He alternated paddling and slapping my ass with what I would consider light spanking as he worked my clit. This was soon followed by a toy at the entrance to my ass. I am not a big fan of ass play (although I have derived pleasure from it at times) and might well have refused him at this point, but felt in such a submissive state after serving him for a large portion of the day, I wanted to do anything to continue deriving pleasure through serving him.

I pushed back against the toy as directed unable to tell exactly which one it was which increased my anxiety. It felt big… it did not slide easily into my ass. I whimpered and panted as I tried to coax my asshole into receiving it. After gentle encouragement from Master, I did succeed in receiving the toy into my ass. He applied a little more spanking to my ass cheeks before directing me to turn over onto my back.

The toy popped out and I had to re-insert it as Master entered me. It popped out again as he began to thrust into my cunt.

“It won’t stay in,” I whined.

“Well hold it in,” he barked authoritatively as if explaining something plainly obvious to a child.

And so I did. I re-inserted the toy and held it in place as he fucked me hard and good and wet.

After this session we enjoyed a quiet steak dinner for just the two of us complete with champagne.

Our weekend was capped of Sunday afternoon by exchanging our letters we had written to each other explaining what we each wanted to give and receive in our D/s relationship as well as what we expected and needed from each other.

Master required me to remove my clothing and kneel before him as he buckled my collar around my neck. I was then directed to read his letter to me on my knees in front of him. When I had finished, he read mine to him as he towered above me.

I was then ordered to stand and grip my ankles as he took his pleasure with me by fucking my pussy. I felt so submissive in this position…gripping my ankles, bracing my arms against my legs to keep my balance as he thrust harder and harder against me.

I feel that this is a new beginning for us. What had me so distraught and confused last week has proven to be a fortunate occurrence leading Jay and I to finally examine and discuss what we want from D/s play…I want the joy and pleasure of surrendering my power to him physically AND psychologically while he derives pleasure from my adoration as expressed through my obedience to him. We have a much better idea of where we were going astray and how to go about correcting it as well as some nifty new friends to teach us what we can’t learn from books. I feel we are travelling down a path that will ultimately bring us greater satisfaction in our D/s roles, as lovers and ultimately as husband and wife.