Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

In this season of Thanksgiving, I want to take a moment to reflect on the blessings I am thankful for in my life.

I am thankful for my family...

- My good looking, intelligent, kinky, loving husband.
- My goofy, sweet, funny daughter and her old soul.
- My handsome, smart, athletic, kind hearted son.

I am thankful that Jay and I have both have our parents here with us. We have reached an age where some of our friends are starting to lose their parents and it is very unsettling.

I am thankful that Jay and I are both gainfully employed and able to provide for ourselves and our children.

I am thankful each time my 16 year old, newly driving son comes home safe and sound.

I am thankful that I am fortunate enough to be concerned about all the excess calories I will have access to tomorrow when many will go without.

And, dearest reader, I am thankful that any of you find the ramblings of my deviant mind interesting enough to keep coming back for more.

What are you thankful for?

Monday, November 22, 2010

My Mentors

I have discovered two role models for who I should be and what I should strive to do for my Master. You will find both of them rather unusual, I assure you. You might even find them amusing. However, these two role models embody the one thing I desire to offer my Master each and every day no matter the form it innocent and undying adoration.

The first mentor I wish to tell you about is none other than Barbara Eden...more precisely Genie of "I Dream of Genie." Jay has turned our daughter onto this show of late, therefore I have been watching quite a lot of it. The more I watched it, the more it struck me that Genie was for her Master what I desire to become for mine. Her sole purpose is to serve and bring him happiness. Her joy is found in bringing him joy. She trusts him implicitly. Her love is offered freely and innocently. She is the picture of the perfect submissive.

My second mentor you will undoubtedly find a bit more unusual, dearest reader. My second role model in this walk of becoming the perfect submissive is one of our dogs, the Akita/German Shepherd. She is Jay's dog. Not because she was brought into the family specifically for him or because he claimed her as his dog, but because she developed a strong bond with him of her own accord. The love this dog feels for him can be seen palpably in her eyes. It is not unusal to find her lying on our bed with Jay gazing at him with pure adoration. He strokes her lovingly and tells her what a good girl she is. She responds immediately to any command he gives her, trusting that her Daddy would never bring her to harm. She too embodies my idea of the perfect submissive.

This is the very picture of the D/s relationship I wish to have with Jay. I wish to lie and simply adore him. I wish to have him stroke me and tell me what a good girl I am as I make it my purpose to express my adoration through serving him. I wish to find it within myself to obey his every command immediately, without question. My heart longs to be his obedient "pet."

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I Can't Get This Song Out of My Head

I have had the new Miranda Lambert song, "Only Prettier" stuck in my head for days now. If you listen to country music which I have developed an appreciation for in my oid age, you will probably know it. It's a funny little song narrating a cat fight Southern syle.

The last line in particular continues to float around in my head, escaping my lips every now and then as I go about my day. As a result of the struggle with the depression I mentioned in my last post I have gained about 25 lbs over the last 2 years or so. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I have yet to find the willpower to lose it. The one advantage I have found is that my boobs have grown a whole cup size, ha, ha!! I now have FULL C cups. I joke with Jay that I saved him thousands by giving myself an all natural boob job!!

I have decided this song, and this line in particular is an appropriate theme song for me...

"I'll keep drinking/You'll keep getting skinnier/I'm just like you/Only prettier."

If you are interested, here is the whole song for you. It doesn't hurt that Miranda Lambert is so damn pretty!

Friday, November 19, 2010


I am not sure where to begin this post. It is sure to be a whiny one, no matter how I compose it. It's not sex related, so stop right here if you're searching for something hot and steamy to help you along. Remember that emptiness I brought up here? Try as I might, I can't seem to find that one magical thing that will fill it.

It's not surprising really, I've been searching for it to no avail most of my life. It's only been recently that I have matured enough to become aware that searching was what I was doing...this next bite of food will do it, this high will do it, getting married will do it, having a child will do it, fitting into size "X" will do it, this relationship will do it. Guess what, none of those things did it more than temporarily. I am not suggesting I dont love my children with all my heart or that I am not happy to be married to Jay. I'm only honestly stating they were some of the things I genuinely believed would bring me constant, everlasting happiness. Guess what happens when the things you used to fill up the empty spaces stop working, or are taken from get depressed.

I have shyed away from sharing this side of myself here, reserving this space only for well adjusted, erotic, deviant Mimi, but that's not always who I am (much to Jay's dismay). Who I am is erotic, deviant, sexy, but also someone who feels empty much of the time, someone who has struggled with depression since her teens. I've decided maybe I can share that not so sexy side of me too because I know at least a few of you dear readers feel that emptiness too.

I struggled with depression in varying degrees throughout my late teens and early twenties. It improved after that and all but disappeared after I met Jay. We married, had a child of our own three years later in addition to his son he brought into the marriage that I raised as my own. Happiness and fulfillment abounded in my life during this time. I felt I had finally escaped the demons that plagued me in my younger years.

Slowly things began to go awry. I was faced with some of the more unpleasant realities of life, and lost some of the things that were dear to me and that had helped bolster my sense of who I had become (things that filled the empty spaces), and eventually the depression came back full force about 4 years ago. I tried to deal with it on my own until just last year. Refusing to seek help because that would be an admission of failure of sorts. I had believed that scared misfit of a girl was long dead and buried, yet here she was raising her ugly head again.

So I woke up each morning with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, pulled myself out of bed despite the crushing despair, and felt proud that I at least got up and showed up at work each day. I slogged through each day as best I could finding little joy in anything. Then I would return home often impatient and angry with my children,or arguing with Jay because he just couldn't understand what was wrong with me, never having experienced depressed Mimi before.

Finally last fall I had to admit that I couldn't live like this anymore. I had sought help in the form of talk therapy off and on, but I had to admit the problem was bigger than me, and I needed more than that. I finally agreed to medication. Since then I have been on 3 different medications. The 3rd one seems to be the charm as it has worked well for me for about 6 months now.

Lately, however the discontent, irritability, restlesness and emptiness are rearing their ugly heads again. And I am confronted with the question that never seems to leave me..."What will fill the empty space?" I return to the old methods and feel even more empty and frustrated when they no longer work. I miss the good old days when I could fool myself enough to keep the darkness at bay with one trick or another.

My gut tells me simply swallowing the right pill everyday is not enough. It can clear the fog and make Mimi function again, but my heart tells me the full answers lie in the metaphysical. So I study, I meditate, I pray and still can't find the sense of peace I seek.

I am tired today...tired of contentment being so elusive, tired of happiness being so much work, tired of seeking and never finding. Just tired...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Afternoon Quickie

Jay and I just returned from a Thanksgiving lunch with our daughter at school.

He brought me home and fucked me afterwards. I happen to be wearing a dress today, with crotchless panties, stockings and garter, and boots. He pulled the dress over my head, bent me over the end of the couch, spit on my pussy, and shoved his cock inside me. I moaned into the sofa as he ground against my backside.

"Slap my ass, baby," I moaned.

Slap, Slap, SLAP went his hand against my bare ass as we fucked and I groaned my pleasure.

When his cock fell out of me, he led me upstairs. I laid on my back, legs in the air, pussy spread wide and open for him. He spit on my pussy again and stroked his cock against my clit before plunging deep inside me again.

Dear God, we were both so worked up. It didn't take long with my fingers on my clit and his cock plunging away inside me before I was loudly screaming in orgasm in our child-free home. Jay quickly followed suit with a release of his own.

Now I return back to work with hand prints on my ass, and the scent of his cum dripping out of me. Makes the day ahead a little more bearable.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Master's Slave for the Afternoon

I spent the afternoon before the Halloween party serving as Master’s slave. Sadly, as always, we ended I spent the afternoon before the Halloween party serving as Master’s slave. Sadly, as always, we ended up with less time to devote to deviance than we would have liked. Master had a task planned for me that would have earned me my own pet pillow, but did not have the time to engage me in it. So I remain a pet without her own soft pillow.

After dropping our daughter off with her grandparents for the night, Master had me remove my bra and change into a thin cotton T-shirt he had required me to bring. The fabric was so thin the outline of my nipples and new installed nipple rings were clearly visible. He then took me to the pet store where I was allowed to pick out my own doggie dish and a new chain link leash.

When we arrived home Master had me disrobe and kneel before him in our bedroom as he affixed my collar and new leash around my neck. Next he attached the nipple clamps to my nipple rings and threaded the chain through the O ring of the collar. Finally, he buckled my wrist and ankle cuffs around each extremity. At last, I was a properly adorned slave. I was then led by the leash on all fours down to the den.

Once in the den, Master informed me that I would have to earn my own pet pillow, and for now I would have to use the bed belonging to our Akita/German Shepherd. The first task I was given was to remove all the dog toys from the bed…not with my hands, but with my mouth. This wasn’t so terribly bad. I was able to perform the task quickly and well for Master.

Afterwards, he kindly asked if I would like a drink to wash the dog hair from my mouth. When I replied that I would, he led me on all fours into the kitchen (linoleum is an extremely HARD surface on one’s knees in case you have never crawled across your own kitchen floor) where there was a doggie bowl full of my favorite beverage…Diet Mountain Dew. I obediently lowered my head and lapped it up like a good girl, my pussy throbbing between my legs.

I was then led back into the den and ordered to curl up on the doggie bed. My beloved Master then took the flogger to my exposed ass. What I did not know was that Master had been studying technique and had discovered how to strike me with the tips of the flogger producing a distinctive stinging sensation. He flicked the flogger across my naked ass over and over until I was writhing about and crying out on the dog bed.

He then went outside to smoke a cigarette (my Jay has take up smoking again with the stress of his job which worries me greatly) with instructions for me to remain there on the dog bed. I laid there and listened to him talking to someone on his cell phone and began to feel the rush of endorphins coursing through my body as a result of Master’s flogging. God but I love that wonderful feeling my Master gives to me.

When Master came back inside he ordered me to go upstairs and get the lotion for massaging his feet. I scurried upstairs, grabbed the lotion, scurried back to set it on the floor and lie back down on the dog bed. Master was in the kitchen getting himself some ice water as I waited.

When he returned he sighed in an irritated manner and exclaimed, “Unbelievable!”

“What is it?” I asked, falling out of my role and thinking perhaps my son had just called wit something annoying to say or ask.

“That’s not the lotion I told you to get. That’s not my lotion,” he informed me as if speaking to a child.

In my haste, I had brought down my own lotion, not thinking to get his eucalyptus scented lotion, and didn’t even realize it until he corrected me. I was given another round with the flogger for my carelessness before being sent upstairs to get the correct lotion.

When I returned, Master was seated on the sofa where I was directed to kneel before him and remove his shoes and socks. When this was done, I carefully placed his bare feet on a towel and prepared to massage him. He stopped me before I could begin with a redirection to suck his cock instead.

I unzipped him and carefully removed his cock as he turned on the TV to watch the Georgia-Florida game. I dutifully licked and sucked as he flipped between football and porn. After 15 minutes or so of pleasuring him orally, I was directed to begin massaging his feet. I massaged his feet and legs, my nipple clamps dangling from my breasts as he continued to watch football and porn.

When his foot massage was done I was made to bend over on all fours and finger my ass as he watched and grew hard. When he had had enough of that, Master placed me over the ottoman and entered my ass. Being his slave, I could only respectfully acquiesce as he pumped in and out of my ass.

After several minutes of pumping, he pulled out, sat down on the sofa and told me to go get something to clean him off so I could suck his cock again. I stared at him dumbfounded. He couldn’t possibly be asking this of me. I had often commented when watching porn how disgusted I was by the scenes of women being fucked in the ass then sucking the same cock that had just come out of their asshole. I swallowed hard and went upstairs to retrieve the things I would need.

My mind raced…I can’t do this…he won’t really make me do this…what is he is serious…I think he is serious. I was near tears before I stopped and refocused. Master has given me a task. I am his slave to use as he sees fit this afternoon. Master would never to anything to harm me, My one purpose this afternoon is to bring pleasure to Master.

I then methodically gathered the things I would need…warm soapy washcloth, dry towel, baby wipes. I would have poured alcohol over his cock if I thought I could have gotten away with it!!

I went downstairs, kneeled before him, and washed his cock and balls with the washcloth, dried them, thoroughly wiped with the baby wipes and dried again. Now was my moment of truth…I kneeled there, head lowered, just looking at his cock.

“Suck it, Mimi,” he growled.

I lowered my head to his crotch and stopped just short of his cock. Despite my little pep talk to myself upstairs, I still hesitated to take him in my mouth. He placed his hand on the back of my head and shoved me the rest of the way down.

I opened my mouth to his cock and sucked weakly. Master grabbed me by the hair, pulled my head up and slapped my face.

“I said suck my cock,” he bellowed.

I took him in my mouth again and did my best to overcome my disgust and suck him properly. I got a few more slaps to the side of the face as I sucked to encourage me to perform better.

When Master had had enough fun with that exercise, he mercifully ordered me to lie on the dog bed and masturbate. I gratefully complied as he watched and snapped photos.

When I was wet and writhing about for his cock, he knelt before me and entered my needy pussy. We rocked and moaned together, my hands on my breasts playing with my nipple rings. I bucked my hips up to meet his as he thrust harder and harder until reaching his orgasm inside me.

And that, dear reader, is how I came to be fucked on a dog bed for the first time as Master’s little bitch.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Happy Veteran's Day

This morning I (Jay) told Mimi to complete a task for me in honor of this special day today.

To all my brothers who risked their lives, who paid the ultimate sacrifice, and those who are safely away from the field of battle, I had Mimi wish you all in our own way a Happy Veteran's Day!

Strike Hold!

- Jay

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Halloween Fetish Party

My dearest reader, I have been remiss in posting photos from our Halloween fetish outing a couple of weeks ago. Honestly, I must admit that Jay and I were a little disappointed in this year's soiree. There were no shows or demonstrations, no St. Andrew's crosses or whipping benches, just dancing and drinks with no alcohol we could discern for $6 a pop. The evening was not a total loss, we did have fun, but had come with higher expectations. The afternoon prior was far more interesting as I served as Master's slave for the day. Look for a narrative of that coming soon.

I have no interesting pictures of the party for you, but do have a number of before and after pictures to share with you.

Here you can see what I was (or was not) wearing under my costume...

Here is the outfit itself. If you recall from this post, I had tried to order a sheer top dress for this event only to be told several days later it had been discontinued. My Jay was so excited about the idea of showing off my new nipple piercings. I was very proud of myself for finding this outfit also with a sheer top...

Jay dressed himself as a creepy old vampire. He wore his skeleton top hat with the stringy, grey hair, applied white makeup with green and black accents to his face, glued a pair of fangs to his teeth and dribbled a little fake blood along the sides of his lips. These were some of the best photos we took of the evening...

At the end of the evening Jay had me remove my skirt at the side of the car and ride home in the attire you see below in exchange for a promise to stop by a Krystal on the way home and get me a yummy snack...

The final picture of the evening as I walked into the house...