Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My Mantra

I am struggling with my training as a proper submissive already. I test my 2nd Dom at times, but more so I test Daddy. Headmaster makes it very clear to me that any disobedience will be swiftly corrected. I had been directed to wear my Njoy anal plug to work last Monday, and chose not to as I had been made to wear my rosebud all day at work the previous Friday, and simply did not feel like doing it all over again on Monday. I could not lie to Headmaster when he inquired if I had followed directions. As my punishment I wore paperclips tightly affixed to my nipples all day, and was ordered to take a ruler into the restroom and spank each breast 10 times for my transgression. Slut that I am, this made me slippery wet.

I struggle much harder with Daddy which is, of course, why I am in training. I had refused a direction of his early in the week arguing about it's impracticality and trying to bargain with him. It only served to cause tension and frustration between us until I followed the direction the next day. It did turn out to be an impractical sort of order, but the point was I had obeyed.

This very same day, Daddy informed me we would be going out to obtain new nipple clamps for me, and I was to dress only in a sheer piece of lingerie. Again, I argued and refused. I was terrified he would make me go into public in nothing but a sheer nightgown. I couldn't, I WOULDN'T do that. The notion of men looking me up and down and women judging and whispering made my palms sweaty.

At this point Headmaster stepped in. We had a conversation that has been a turning point in my training. He knows who I am, he knows I long to submit no matter what the request. One of the most illuminating portions of the conversation occured when he encouraged me to use the same strength I had drawn on to bear his breast torture and the cane, to fulfill Daddy's request and go out with him in whatever attire he deemed fit. It had not really occured to me that bearing humuliating, psychologically difficult tasks required that I draw from the same place that allowed me to bear physical punishment and pain. Headmaster went on to assure me he would not give up on me as a wonderful sub, and I should not give up on myself. He inquired if I was now ready to submit to Daddy's request. I agreed that I was and mentally began to prepare myself for whatever Daddy required of me.

While still humuliating, Daddy's request was not quite as bad as I had feared. I was directed to wear a sheer black blouse, no bra of course, but thankfully it had pockets on each side which covered most of my breasts, a very short mini skirt which exposed the bottom of my bare ass cheeks when I moved in just the right way, and 3" black patent leather heels.

To reinforce my lesson, I was taken from bed that morning, ordered to kneel in position 3 in front of a mirror, and had the cane painfully applied to my ass as Daddy reminded me this training was for his pleasure. I was asked more than once, "Who is your master, slut?"

"You are, Daddy," I replied each time.

"Are you going to follow Daddy's directions?" he probed

"Yes Sir. Yes, Daddy," I grunted as the cane met the flesh of my naked ass.

Again I was slippery wet after my punishment.

When the evening came, I complied like a perfect slut with no questions or complaints. Daddy took me to one toy shop in search of the clamps he sought. I was relieved that it was a very small shop and no one was there. Sadly, however they did not have the clamps he sought. Daddy did have me bend over and let him swat me with a flogger they had there which I found throughly embarrassing as the clerk there couldn't help but hear it even if he did not see it in the small store.

We also needed to go by the liquor store that evening for my special pineapple flavored drinks we cannot find at the grocery store. It being Saturday and this being the Bible Belt South where alcohol is not sold on Sundays, we had to go that evening if I wanted my drinks. So Daddy took me to the liquor store in my outfit. I was both nervous and aroused to be doing just as Daddy directed me. I kept my eyes down as we were in the store, unable to face any gawking, judgemental or lacivious stares. When we had made our purchase, Daddy took me back to the car, had me unbutton my blouse, lean against the car and sqeezed my breasts for his pleasure.

We then continued on to the second sex toy shop where he hoped to find the nipple clamps he sought. I was much more nervous about this one as it was much bigger and always had a lot of customers. As expected, the store was packed with people. Daddy had directed me not to leave his side, not to fiddle with my skirt attempting to pull it down and not to cross my arms in an attempt to shield my breasts. I did as I was told, feeling both shamed and aroused. Curiosity made me look around a bit more in the store. And sure enough, I did see a woman or two looking me up and down disapprovingly. After that, I kept my eyes down, and stayed on Daddy's heels as directed. This store also did not have the nipple clamps he sought, but he led me around the store a big longer, looking at dirty movies, and other items. When we left Daddy praised me, telling me how well I had done and how proud he and Headmaster were of me.

During my conversation with Headmaster earlier in the week I was given a mantra to write on my body each day and email to him as he felt I needed this daily reinformcement of who I am and what my place is. I am to do this each day until I have completed a milestone sort of task which he and Daddy both have charged me with. So far I have written this message on my body and sent to him for 6 days. However as I write this post, I have completed the task with which I was charged and will no longer be required to write my mantra each day unless Headmaster or Daddy change their minds on me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very hot and sexy.
And your tits look amazing in that pic.