Monday, January 19, 2009

It's NOT All in My Head

As a few of you may be aware, my main motivation for beginning this little blog last year was the desire to help jump start my ailing sex drive. The past several years have seen a sharp decline in my normally voracious sexual appetite causing much pain and confusion for both Jay and myself. Nothing we tried, from this blog to reading books to our "swinging" adventures seemed to make any lasting difference. My drive would seem to increase for a bit, then sickeningly fall off again. On the whole I chalked it up to the stress, anxiety and never ending treadmill of raising two children, dealing with financial difficulties, running a household and working a full time job.

I resolved, however that I would discuss the issue with my OB/Gyn at my next annual exam which just happened to have come around again at the end of the year. She explained that the female sex drive is driven by testosterone just like the male sex drive albeit in much smaller amounts. Birth control pills are known culprits for decreasing testosterone levels for women. Add that to the fact that the levels tend to naturally decrease as a women reaches her 40's (I'm almost there at 38) and there is the possibility my drive could be suffering from lowered testosterone levels. She explained that she could draw some blood to test my testosterone levels, but that it wasn't an exact science...what seems low in some women may actually be normal for them and vice versa. She also went on to suggest the usual remedy of books about how to boost the sex drive as these are often just as effective.

So I let her draw my blood and kind of put the whole thing out of my mind as I figured the levels would come back normal and I would be back to square's all in my head, the pressure's on me to change whatever "wrong" thinking and behaviors I am engaging in if I want my sex drive back.

Well, guess what? My doctor called today with the results of the blood test and it would appear my testoserone levels ARE significantly lowered. I'm not a TOTAL head case. There is a sound medical reason why I may be suffering from a lowered drive.

While this was not technically "good" news,in many ways it was for me. I felt a great sense of relief. Its not all my fault. There is suddenly this new avenue to explore for restoring my formerly endless sex drive.

My options as I undserstand them seem to be: A) Stop taking birth control pills and find a different means of contraception, B) Switch to a different birth control pill until we find one that has less effect on my tetosterone levels, or C) Begin testosterone supplements.

I'm not so keen on switching from birth control pill to birth control pill in search of one that may or may not have the effects I am seeking. I am absolutely NOT interested in testosterone supplements that have the potential risk for "masculine" side effects no matter how small those risks may be.

This leaves going off the pill as the option that seems best for me. Jay readily offered up that he would get "snipped" as soon as I explained my results and my options to him. The poor man is ready and willing to endure a little pain in his scrotum if it means he is going to get laid more often, his wife is actually going to enjoy it and just feel happier in general!! In my defense however, even at my worst we still managed to average sex at least once a there!

I'll keep you posted on what we decide. Sex has been great lately so I am doubting that I need to change anything, however I know from past experience that it tends to go up and down, down being the general norm over the past several years.


Anonymous said...

glad to hear that the results brought you some relief! Hopefully you will be back to normal in no time...

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

how interesting. and great you have an answer.


bigd44 said...

Good to here you are getting help. Tell Jay getting "snipped" isn't that bad, I had it done about six years ago. A couple of days of discomfort, and your back in the saddle!

Binks and Petal said...

I just found your blog today. I skimmed through the older posts and I just have to say that you are gorgeous. I would have never guessed 38.

The relationship I was in previous to my current one was ultimately destroyed by her nonexistant sex drive. It just disappeared and I was always told my sexual needs and expectations were unrealistic. I think it's great that you are doing everything you can to keep things going.


Anonymous said...

Getting a vasectomy is easy and the pain and discomfort are minor. The tough part is abstaining from unprotected intercourse for the reccomended length of time. I'll never forget taking it for a spin around the block for the first time. Fantastic!

Anonymous said...

That is wonderful news to have an answer! I too struggled so much with my sex drive. Never really got a good answer, but lately things have been fine once more. Though, having my biopsy put a temporary stop on the sex.

xoxox mina

Mimi said...

Thanks everyone for the kind comments, especially the ones assuring Jay that getting a vasectomy isn't really so bad as it sounds...LOL!!

shawnstring said...

1st time caller long time listener...

I got snipped about 2 years ago.
Best. Thing. I've. Ever. Done.
Her desire went up (no nagging worries) and I am getting it more. So win win.