Every time I hear this song by Sara Evans I am always reminded of a time in my life that doesn't seem as long ago as it actually was. It takes me back to the seemingly endless parade of days that I "woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain/but I brushed my teeth anyway/I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face." I am instantly transported to all the mornings and afternoons I cried the entire trip back and forth to work because it provided the most privacy for letting myself cry, then tried to fix my face so no one would know I had been crying when I arrived at my destination.
The message of this song, however, is the resiliency of the human heart. It reminds us that with enough time we all can and do get over the pain of heartbreak. Some of us take just weeks or months while others of us, like me, take years. The message I want to convey here is that I am not only just a little bit stronger, but completely done with the grieving and "what if's" of letting go. If you need to hear this message, you know who you are. Believe me when I say it has happened. I hope it brings a smile to your face.
As the song says, "I know my heart will never be the same..." but that doesn't mean it is incapable of healing and moving on. I believe I posted several posts back that I recently told Jay I feel happier than I think I ever have in my life. I honestly don't know exactly why, but I also have no desire to question it.
My life feels full and meaningful again...more meaningful than it ever has. I am more in love with my husband than I have ever been. More in love even than the day I married him. As an added bonus, I feel attractive and sexy again which translates to a wonderful sex life again for Jay and I!
I am filled with energy and enthusiasm both for my job and several volunteer opportunities I have been meaning to pursue for a long time. It seems that life is good after 40 when you finally start to figure out who the hell you are, and discover that she's a pretty cool chick!
Carpe Diem, my friends!