Everytime I hear this song by ShineDown I think about how it perfectly describes a Dom's relationship with his sub, and it makes me wet. What is more powerful than to be owned body and soul by a man stronger than you...physically and mentally?
Jay and I may have finally found our mentor for developing our D/s relationship in the way we would both like. I'll be keeping it to myself until it unfolds a bit more.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Get Off the Cross, We Need the Wood
Disclaimer: The following post has NOTHING to do with sex. There, I warned you.
I recently had an interesting and wonderful experience. Jay and I finally made the decision to join a health club. It’s a very nice one too…open 24/7, a resort-like swimming pool (indoor and outdoor), every imaginable class and piece of exercise equipment, spa, summer daycamps for our daughter. We are very excited about having finally joined.
When you go in to take a tour with a representative and actually join, they set you up with a “free” session with a personal trainer. I attended my “free” session on Sunday. I went in with the expectation that I would tell him or her that I have my aerobic exercise taken care of with running, tell them the areas of my body I would like to focus on toning, and he or she would direct me to and demonstrate the equipment that would best help me achieve those goals. Ah, but this was not to be, dear reader, as I soon discovered.
My assigned trainer whom we shall refer to as "Rick" immediately sat me down at a desk and had me fill out paperwork about my top three fitness goals which were as follows VERBATIM on my sheet(this will become important later):
1.Tone
2.Strengthen
3.Perhaps some weight loss (not my main goal)
This sheet went on to ask me to list what I ate for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks on a typical day. That seemed a bit much, but I went with it. For the most part I eat pretty well most days so I listed a typical day, and omitted a day when I might eat say a half a bag of Reese’s miniatures or 6 chocolate chip cookies or a bowl and a half of ice cream. Really that’s my business, not his. Rick read over the list carefully and finding little he could critique, went for the evil granola bars. “Boy you really like granola bars, don’t you? They are full of sugar. Get rid of them. Eat a protein bar instead.” When I protested that protein bars taste awful, Rick offers,” Ah well not all of them. We’ve got some great ones downstairs in the café. Check them out.” It was at this point that I began to realize this “free” personal training session was not going to be what I had hoped for.
Eventually Rick did get up and lead me into the workout area, my hopes increased that maybe now I could get what I wanted from him. Instead he led me right to his little evaluation station where he proceeded to ask me to get up on the scale to take my weight. I have quite recently made the decision that I will no longer weigh myself. I know what I weighed about 3 weeks ago, and I can tell from my clothing if I have lost, gained or maintained that weight. I no longer want to be deeply depressed or wildly ecstatic over a number on a piece of machinery. Again being the submissive sort of gal that I am, I complied with Rick’s wishes and figured he could take his number and I just wouldn’t look at it. I stood on the scale until he told me I could get down. As I did so, he gestured his head towards his computer with a very serious look obviously wanting me to take a look at the number as well. I am a human being, I couldn’t help but look. What I saw didn’t surprise me at all. I felt a bit of mild embarrassment that this total stranger (male no less) now also knew what I weighed, but I wasn’t as horrified by it as I think he wanted me to be.
We moved on from there taking various tests and measurements including the dreaded BMI. When he had determined this for me, he turned to me in his most serious of expresions and reported his findings of .35. “What does that mean?” I asked. In an even more somber delivery he replied, “This means your body is made up of 35% fat.” Again, it didn’t shock or concern me as much as it seemed to concern him.
When Rick had finished all his measurements and computations, I was handed a sheet of his findings which told me I was overweight. Really Einstein? I am shocked! I had no idea before I walked in here today that I was... dare I say the word... overweight. Remember those goals I listed at the beginning? The ones that said weight loss was not a main goal for me? Rick apparently skipped right over that part as he went on to the real purpose of our “free” personal training session which was to push his weight loss training classes and eating plan which cost quite a hefty sum over and above the monthly membership fee. I know I am not a (deep serious voice here) “personal trainer” but I am thinking that if I am running, and I desire to come in to the gym to work on my goals of toning and strengthening I just might lose a little weight as a side effect of all that.
I tell this story for a reason, dear reader. As recently as a few months ago I would have left that meeting deeply shamed and embarrassed. I would have beaten myself up as mercilessly as a Catholic nun on her period. I likely would have never returned there to work out with the “thin” people. I would have dieted and restricted myself in guilt and fear until I could stand it no longer and then binged for days or weeks until I had gained back every ounce I had managed to drop, and hated myself even more than when I began. But that didn’t happen. Other than some mild annoyance that this guy had wasted over an hour of my time I could have been spending with my daughter at the pool, I felt nothing. I left there with my self worth, confident that it wasn’t tied to a number on a scale or a BMI reading. I left there knowing that I am an attractive, sexy, lovable woman. I left with the same plan I came with... continue to run because I love it, add in some toning exercise, eat what I want when I am hungry because to do anything else makes me a crazy woman, and I just might lose some weight in the midst of all that. Would I like to lose weight? Yes. Am I about 25-30 pounds from what I consider to be a comfortable weight for myself? Yes. Will I die if I never see that weight again? No.
This shift in thought and mindset represents a huge milestone for me. It comes with decades of struggle and pain that I know many women can identify with. I no longer feel the need to nail myself to the cross because my body isn’t the right shape or size. It is such a relief and such a joyful feeling that I just can’t keep it to myself!
I recently had an interesting and wonderful experience. Jay and I finally made the decision to join a health club. It’s a very nice one too…open 24/7, a resort-like swimming pool (indoor and outdoor), every imaginable class and piece of exercise equipment, spa, summer daycamps for our daughter. We are very excited about having finally joined.
When you go in to take a tour with a representative and actually join, they set you up with a “free” session with a personal trainer. I attended my “free” session on Sunday. I went in with the expectation that I would tell him or her that I have my aerobic exercise taken care of with running, tell them the areas of my body I would like to focus on toning, and he or she would direct me to and demonstrate the equipment that would best help me achieve those goals. Ah, but this was not to be, dear reader, as I soon discovered.
My assigned trainer whom we shall refer to as "Rick" immediately sat me down at a desk and had me fill out paperwork about my top three fitness goals which were as follows VERBATIM on my sheet(this will become important later):
1.Tone
2.Strengthen
3.Perhaps some weight loss (not my main goal)
This sheet went on to ask me to list what I ate for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks on a typical day. That seemed a bit much, but I went with it. For the most part I eat pretty well most days so I listed a typical day, and omitted a day when I might eat say a half a bag of Reese’s miniatures or 6 chocolate chip cookies or a bowl and a half of ice cream. Really that’s my business, not his. Rick read over the list carefully and finding little he could critique, went for the evil granola bars. “Boy you really like granola bars, don’t you? They are full of sugar. Get rid of them. Eat a protein bar instead.” When I protested that protein bars taste awful, Rick offers,” Ah well not all of them. We’ve got some great ones downstairs in the café. Check them out.” It was at this point that I began to realize this “free” personal training session was not going to be what I had hoped for.
Eventually Rick did get up and lead me into the workout area, my hopes increased that maybe now I could get what I wanted from him. Instead he led me right to his little evaluation station where he proceeded to ask me to get up on the scale to take my weight. I have quite recently made the decision that I will no longer weigh myself. I know what I weighed about 3 weeks ago, and I can tell from my clothing if I have lost, gained or maintained that weight. I no longer want to be deeply depressed or wildly ecstatic over a number on a piece of machinery. Again being the submissive sort of gal that I am, I complied with Rick’s wishes and figured he could take his number and I just wouldn’t look at it. I stood on the scale until he told me I could get down. As I did so, he gestured his head towards his computer with a very serious look obviously wanting me to take a look at the number as well. I am a human being, I couldn’t help but look. What I saw didn’t surprise me at all. I felt a bit of mild embarrassment that this total stranger (male no less) now also knew what I weighed, but I wasn’t as horrified by it as I think he wanted me to be.
We moved on from there taking various tests and measurements including the dreaded BMI. When he had determined this for me, he turned to me in his most serious of expresions and reported his findings of .35. “What does that mean?” I asked. In an even more somber delivery he replied, “This means your body is made up of 35% fat.” Again, it didn’t shock or concern me as much as it seemed to concern him.
When Rick had finished all his measurements and computations, I was handed a sheet of his findings which told me I was overweight. Really Einstein? I am shocked! I had no idea before I walked in here today that I was... dare I say the word... overweight. Remember those goals I listed at the beginning? The ones that said weight loss was not a main goal for me? Rick apparently skipped right over that part as he went on to the real purpose of our “free” personal training session which was to push his weight loss training classes and eating plan which cost quite a hefty sum over and above the monthly membership fee. I know I am not a (deep serious voice here) “personal trainer” but I am thinking that if I am running, and I desire to come in to the gym to work on my goals of toning and strengthening I just might lose a little weight as a side effect of all that.
I tell this story for a reason, dear reader. As recently as a few months ago I would have left that meeting deeply shamed and embarrassed. I would have beaten myself up as mercilessly as a Catholic nun on her period. I likely would have never returned there to work out with the “thin” people. I would have dieted and restricted myself in guilt and fear until I could stand it no longer and then binged for days or weeks until I had gained back every ounce I had managed to drop, and hated myself even more than when I began. But that didn’t happen. Other than some mild annoyance that this guy had wasted over an hour of my time I could have been spending with my daughter at the pool, I felt nothing. I left there with my self worth, confident that it wasn’t tied to a number on a scale or a BMI reading. I left there knowing that I am an attractive, sexy, lovable woman. I left with the same plan I came with... continue to run because I love it, add in some toning exercise, eat what I want when I am hungry because to do anything else makes me a crazy woman, and I just might lose some weight in the midst of all that. Would I like to lose weight? Yes. Am I about 25-30 pounds from what I consider to be a comfortable weight for myself? Yes. Will I die if I never see that weight again? No.
This shift in thought and mindset represents a huge milestone for me. It comes with decades of struggle and pain that I know many women can identify with. I no longer feel the need to nail myself to the cross because my body isn’t the right shape or size. It is such a relief and such a joyful feeling that I just can’t keep it to myself!
Friday, April 29, 2011
What He Said
This is the hottest thing that has been said to me in a very long time:
"When I smack you, your eyes will roll in your head."
"When I smack you, your eyes will roll in your head."
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Mon Cherie's Chamber Reunion
Master and I had such a wonderful time last night at Mon Cherie's Chamber reunion! By far the best night out we have had in many moons.
The Chamber was the hottest fetish club here in Atlanta in the late 90's and early 2000's until it sadly closed about 7 or 8 years ago. Jay and I frequented it fairly reguarly in those days. We were not yet experimenting with D/s play ourselves at the time, but were very intrigued and aroused by watching the shows that went on there.
When it closed, Jay and I were lost for a place to go for fun when the opportunity for a night out would arise. Ms. Mon Cherie was kicking ass and taking names last night!! She should be proud of herself for gathering the greatest group of performers, vendors and guests in the city for a hot night of lustful deviance!
As always I have pictures of the evening to share with you dear reader.
Let's begin with my new nametag Master presented me with just last weekend for wear at last night's event...
And the view I had from the end of my leash as Master paraded me about all evening...
How about a few photos of some of the performers and kinky deviants in attendance...
And now for the REAL fun... Mimi receiving a flogging and paddling from a friend of ours...
Mimi receiving a flogging and spanking from a new friend we made last night...
My bruised and battered bottom courtesy of Master Jay and friends. Towards the end of Master Jay's paddling/spanking he leaned in, rubbing my bottom, checking in with me, and I pleaded, "No more paddle, pleeeeease Sir." I would have taken anything other than the paddle at that point...flogger, crop, hand, belt...anything. I received several more whacks of the paddle just for good measure.
Mmmmm, I can't wait to go to work tomorrow with my little secret neatly hidden under my clothing, my bottom smarting each time I move in my chair reminding me of the erotic time I had this weekend.
The Chamber was the hottest fetish club here in Atlanta in the late 90's and early 2000's until it sadly closed about 7 or 8 years ago. Jay and I frequented it fairly reguarly in those days. We were not yet experimenting with D/s play ourselves at the time, but were very intrigued and aroused by watching the shows that went on there.
When it closed, Jay and I were lost for a place to go for fun when the opportunity for a night out would arise. Ms. Mon Cherie was kicking ass and taking names last night!! She should be proud of herself for gathering the greatest group of performers, vendors and guests in the city for a hot night of lustful deviance!
As always I have pictures of the evening to share with you dear reader.
Let's begin with my new nametag Master presented me with just last weekend for wear at last night's event...
And the view I had from the end of my leash as Master paraded me about all evening...
How about a few photos of some of the performers and kinky deviants in attendance...
And now for the REAL fun... Mimi receiving a flogging and paddling from a friend of ours...
Mimi receiving a flogging and spanking from a new friend we made last night...
My bruised and battered bottom courtesy of Master Jay and friends. Towards the end of Master Jay's paddling/spanking he leaned in, rubbing my bottom, checking in with me, and I pleaded, "No more paddle, pleeeeease Sir." I would have taken anything other than the paddle at that point...flogger, crop, hand, belt...anything. I received several more whacks of the paddle just for good measure.
Mmmmm, I can't wait to go to work tomorrow with my little secret neatly hidden under my clothing, my bottom smarting each time I move in my chair reminding me of the erotic time I had this weekend.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The Unbearable Affliction of Yearning
I WANT...often with a painful intensity. I want with such a raging hunger I fear it can never be satisfied. It threatens to swallow me whole, this wanting. It snarls and growls at me in it's endless demand to be satisfied.
I am a fish on a hook...writhing on my own desire. My peace of mind the sacrificial lamb to my depravity.
My mind is overwhelmed with images of filth...intwined tongues, pulsing sex organs, naked flesh, your hands, your eyes, your mouth on me.
Don't deny me again with your exhausting logic and ever present reason. Want me as I want you. Soothe the wailing voice that insists on being fulfilled. Join me in my thirst for lust, and unfetter my bound heart.
I am a fish on a hook...writhing on my own desire. My peace of mind the sacrificial lamb to my depravity.
My mind is overwhelmed with images of filth...intwined tongues, pulsing sex organs, naked flesh, your hands, your eyes, your mouth on me.
Don't deny me again with your exhausting logic and ever present reason. Want me as I want you. Soothe the wailing voice that insists on being fulfilled. Join me in my thirst for lust, and unfetter my bound heart.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
And They're Off....
That's me in that sea of people there about to begin my first 10K. I did it!! It was a very warm 70 degrees here in Atlanta today, there were more hills than I had anticipated on this course, but I finished it. I was exhausted by the end and my time was not what I had been hoping for (1:16), but I had a great time and learned some valuable lessons for next year...like dont let the excitement overwhelm you and start out WAY too fast the first 2 miles, train for those hills, and find a way to focus even when running amidst a crowd of people. When I run solo, I often feel peaceful, focused and "in the zone". I had a really difficult time doing that today with so many other people running alongside me.
All in all though, I had a great day topped off by accompanying my daughter and a neighbor and her daughter to the Justin Bieber movie, ha, ha!! In his defense I do have to say he is a talented kid who seems to have been raised well. He seems like a genuinely nice boy. I hope he can stay the course and not get swallowed up by the fame at such a young age.
P.S. There's a little camel-toe going on in that last picture that I thought some of you might enjoy..wink, wink.
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